


Better Walk That (Pap) Walk, Baby

by FallingLikeThis, lululawrence



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Actor Harry, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Communication Failure, Exes to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Hate to Love, Jealousy, M/M, No Smut, Popstar Harry, Popstar Louis, Teasing, famous/famous, pr relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-15 06:28:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12315600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallingLikeThis/pseuds/FallingLikeThis, https://archiveofourown.org/users/lululawrence/pseuds/lululawrence
Summary: Harry sat and stared at the print in front of his eyes where the names Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles looked to be in neon lights.  It made him think back to those early days when all they’d dreamt of was seeing their names lit up on the signs for popular venues.  Back then, things had seemed so black and white.  Their love had grown as their popularity had, fast and intense and overwhelming.  Maybe that was part of the problem.  They’d never anticipated having to weave their way through a love so all encompassing at that age, much less at the same time as navigating brand new careers they’d been lucky enough to be a part of.Harry stared at the papers as if it wasn’t him who had just signed them.  He could do this.  He could.  He could pretend he was still as in love with Louis Tomlinson as he had been all those years ago no problem.  He was now an actor in addition to a musician for fuck’s sake, he could make this work.Or the one where, after years filled with the anger and pain that accompany a bad breakup, Harry and Louis have to try to put it all behind them, at least for the cameras.





	Better Walk That (Pap) Walk, Baby

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dimpled_halo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dimpled_halo/gifts).



> To Jacky, we hope you love this! 
> 
> So many thank you's to [KK](http://dinosaursmate.tumblr.com/) for the britpick, and [Bec](http://tositandadmire.tumblr.com/) and [Michelle](http://all-these-larrythings.tumblr.com/) for the beta reads.
> 
> Title (mostly) comes from "Sorry Not Sorry" by Demi Lovato.

"No," Louis Tomlinson said as soon as the idea was pitched to him.

"Louis," Elena spoke softly, her tone was firm though and Louis knew immediately that he was going to have a fight on his hands. "You  _ need _ this."

"Not with him," Louis shook his head, not giving in. "Put me in any other PR relationship you want. Hell, I'll go back in the fucking closet if it means not having to work with  _ him. _ "

"Now,  _ Louis _ ," Elena said again, much more sternly. It was obvious she was already losing patience. "The two of you top the list of artists with the most anticipated albums this autumn.  _ And  _ he's just come away from a film that’s already rumored to be in the running for an Oscar nomination. If you want press,  _ he's _ how you get it."

Louis stood from the chair he'd been lounging in, leaning over the conference room table to make sure that Elena heard every unhappy word he uttered. "I will not fake date Harry fucking Styles, I don't care what it can get me.  _ Find another way _ .”

 

Louis stormed out of the room, ignoring Elena’s protests and letting the door slam behind him. He knew this wasn't the end of the war, it was merely a single battle. But, for now at least, he’d won. And that felt  _ really good. _

 

_ * _

 

Two days. That was the extent of Louis’ victory. He’d got two days of peace before Elena was flooding his phone with screenshots of articles about Harry’s coming out and wonderings about who this mysterious significant other was that Harry had alluded to in an interview. The last screenshot, a blind gossip column, was the one that really caught Louis’ eye.

_ A certain pop star turned Hollywood heartthrob who’s recently come out of the closet, may or may not be shacking up with their longtime rival. They used to battle for the charts but soon they’ll be melting hearts when they announce their relationship to the public. _

Louis huffed in irritation and dialed Elena.

“I thought those articles might capture your interest,” she answered without preamble.

“I’m  _ not _ interested. But you’ve already agreed to it, haven’t you?” Louis asked point blank. “That blind gossip piece. That was  _ your _ doing.”

Elena sighed and Louis could swear he felt the weight of it through the phone. “It’s my job, Louis.”

“Fuck,” He groaned. “I wish I could fire you.”

Elena laughed at him. “Well, then it’s a good thing I work for your label and not you. Besides, you like me too much.”

“Not right now, I don’t,” He assured her.

“Ok, I’m going to level with you,” Elena said, resigned to have to deal with Louis’ ire for a while. “You and Harry have history—”

“Yes,” Louis interrupted. “ _ History _ . As in, it should stay  _ in the past _ .”

“Well, Harry’s already hinted at having a longtime boyfriend and your history is the perfect foundation to build a secret relationship on. You got together on X-Factor when you were competing in the same house and fell in love. Neither of you were ready to come out at the time but you agreed to take it at your own pace so when the media perceived a feud between the two of you when your first albums came out, you decided to play it up, keeping your relationship private.”

Louis was already shaking his head and pinching the bridge of his nose with his free hand. “It’s never gonna work. We can’t even be in the same room together for more than five minutes, how do you expect us to fake a relationship?”

“Try to remember what made you so close in the past,” Elena answered like it was just that easy. But that was the problem, Louis  _ did _ remember what made them so close. He remembered every charmed moment of falling for that dimpled smile and delighted laugh. He remembered late nights spent telling each other everything which morphed into late nights spent in each other’s arms. He remembered their first kiss and the first tentative, intimate touch. It hurt to remember those things, because once he thought of them, other, more damaging firsts inevitably followed.

It had seemed so stupid afterwards but when the producers of X-Factor had decided to portray Harry as a ladies’ man, filming a video of him going on a date with one of the girls before revealing that he was dating  _ all of them _ , Louis had been livid. He could admit that he had a small problem with jealousy and he knew that the producers didn’t want them showing their relationship on-screen but this went beyond even that. It bothered Louis that Harry was willingly going along with it, reinforcing the idea for the show’s audience that he could never be with someone like Louis because he was too busy chasing girls. It had hurt and it had led to their first fight. Harry had argued that he’d just thought it was funny because he could never actually like any of those girls when he was head over heels for Louis and Louis realized that Harry wasn’t even aware of what he was doing. He’d forgiven him pretty quickly but, unfortunately, that was just the start of Harry’s history of stunting with women.

“Maybe I don’t want to remember,” Louis muttered, still lost in painful memories.

“I’m sorry, Louis,” Elena said, managing to get enough sympathy into her tone that Louis might consider believing her. “The agreement’s already been made. You don’t really have a choice.”

“I know.” Louis sighed, deep and mournful. “When it comes to Harry Styles, I’ve never had a choice.”

Loving him was automatic.

Losing him was inevitable.

Louis didn’t hold out much hope for their reunion.

 

*

 

Harry loved a good workout in the morning.  It always rejuvenated him and helped him feel ready to face the day.  It just...hadn’t quite been able to do that for him this morning.  There was a strange feeling in his gut telling him something wasn’t quite right.  He could feel it in the anxious energy thrumming in his bones.

Then again, maybe that’s just a side effect of being back in London after spending pretty much ten straight weeks in Jamaica working on his album.  They’d just finished the backing vocals, and Harry was supposed to be getting the final tracks in the next few days, but now that he was trying to come back to some semblance of a routine in his actual house, things just weren’t quite sitting right.  That’s probably all it was.  The change of pace and weather and all that.

Harry sighed and grimaced while downing a cup of coffee.  He hated the shit and yet was still addicted.  It was a vicious cycle.  Once his cup was drained, he set it down beside the sink and then threw on his coat and was out the door.

The drive to Sony offices was fairly quiet, thanks to the morning rush already being past, but was still long enough to give him time to think.  Today was the day he was signing the contract for the relationship they’d be using during the promo rounds this coming year.  In his coming out interviews and following articles, his team had all made sure there were allusions to a long term relationship for him and last he heard they were working it out to be a good friend of his, Scott.  

Scott was the perfect choice, in Harry’s mind, because they had been friends for several years at this point so it would be easy to just say that entire thing had been a relationship of different sorts, he hung with the popular but not troublemaking crowd in LA, and it could remain fairly low key.  That’s all Harry really wanted.  Someone to point to and say, “Yeah, see?  My boyfriend!” while not having to do much to actually prove it.  He was tired of acting and he’d come out for a reason.  To stop the lies.  This was technically another one, but it would be so much easier and so much more natural with Scott than it ever had with any of the women he’d been forced to stunt with over the years.

Harry parked and quickly walked into the offices, waving hello to Margot as he went to the lifts and headed to the seventh floor.  He really hoped to get this over and done so he could get back home and look over the email he’d been sent regarding some upcoming photoshoots for Dunkirk promo.

The lift dinged at him and he stepped off, feeling the energy around him immediately go tense, and it was then he knew his feeling of foreboding earlier was not just an issue with readjusting to London.  Something he wasn’t going to like was about to happen in this meeting.

“Harry!” John said loudly, his fake smile instantly setting Harry off as the door closed behind him.  “Ready to sign a few things and talk over the first details of the arrangement?”

Harry looked around expecting Scott to be there as well.  He knew Scott was in the city for some elaborate stag do, so there was no reason for him not to be there.

“Where’s Scott?” Harry asked without even sitting down.  John’s smile tightened on his face and Harry knew whatever he was about to say was already out of Harry’s hands.  Fuck.

Harry sighed and slumped into the chair waiting for him.  He looked around and focused on Mary.  “Just tell me.  What is it?”

Mary looked at him with sympathy as she said, “We’ve got everything ready for you and seeding has already begun.  So far the response has been largely positive!”

That made Harry straighten in his seat.  “I’m sorry, it has already  _ begun? _  How can it have when I haven’t signed the paperwork yet?”

“Because we own you, you know that,” Michael said from behind Harry.  Fuck, Harry hated that man for about a million reasons, but one of them was he had the uncanny ability to sneak up on Harry constantly.  Harry slowly turned in his seat and watched the self satisfied, smarmy smile grow even larger on the older man’s face.  “We own your image, and while you have to agree to certain details, that doesn’t mean we can’t set the rumor mills in motion while we wait for the final logistics to be taken care of.”

Harry glared at Michael with as much ire as he could muster.

“Uhm, yes.  But the response to you and Louis has been-”

Harry’s head turned back to Mary so quickly he heard it pop and could feel a pain radiating down to his shoulder.  He’d have to get his chiropractor to take care of that later, but for now it seemed a background issue compared to the fear and anger flaring within him.

“I’m sorry,” Harry said with a quizzical smile on his face.  “I thought you said Louis, but I’m sure you couldn’t have.”

Mary smiled sadly and swallowed before continuing.  “I did, actually.”

The room was silent as Harry digested this information.  “Just to be clear and ensure I am not jumping to conclusions, what might Louis’ surname be?”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Harry.  The only Louis with enough clout to have his name linked to yours romantically right now!  Louis Tomlinson, of course!”

Harry’s eyes bulged as he looked at Mike where he’d seated himself beside John.  He hated it when Harry called him Mike, so Harry resolved to only ever refer to him as such, both mentally and otherwise, for the rest of...well...forever, thanks to this.

“You must be hallucinating if you think I’m signing anything that will link me in any way to Louis Tomlinson.”

“I’ll leave the hallucinogenics to you, actually,” Mike said, his smile still in place, but his tone showing his irritation.  “The deal has already been made.  Like it or not, Louis Tomlinson is your long time beau, as far as the public is concerned, and you’ll be signing the contract agreeing to it.”

Harry knew he didn’t have a choice, he knew that.  But it didn’t mean he had to bow to their every whim.  It was because of his constant standing up to the powers that be that he was able to work coming out at all.  He wasn’t going to just agree to anything they threw at him now that he’d achieved that.  Later, yes.  He’d have to sign the papers, but he could make his displeasure known for now at least.

“There’s no way you’re getting my signature on that paper.  I refuse to work with him in any way so work something else out,” Harry said with as much finality as possible before storming from the room.  

Just as he expected, Mary rushed after him while John and Mike stayed where they were.  Harry tried closing the lift doors before she could get to them, but she was speedy.

“I told them to warn you beforehand, but they didn’t listen to me,” she huffed in frustration.  

Harry looked at her, a wan smile all he could really give her.  “It’s alright.  Those wankers don’t listen to anyone but themselves.”

“You’ll have to sign them in the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours, love,” she said, the lift slowing as it reached the main level.

“I know.  You can email them to me and I’ll scan them back.  I just didn’t want to do it on their terms.”

She smiled back and waved, staying on the lift as he got off.  “Have a good rest of your day, Harry.”

Harry waved over his shoulder as he walked out the doors he’d only minutes ago entered.  Fuck.  This was not how he’d expected his day to go.

 

*

 

Harry sat and stared at the print in front of his eyes where the names Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles looked to be in neon lights.  It made him think back to those early days when all they’d dreamt of was seeing their names lit up on the signs for popular venues.  Back then, things had seemed so black and white.  Their love had grown as their popularity had, fast and intense and overwhelming.  Maybe that was part of the problem.  They’d never anticipated having to weave their way through a love so all encompassing at that age, much less at the same time as navigating brand new careers they’d been lucky enough to be a part of.

Fuck.  This was a really bad idea.  Unless forced to, Harry had done a great job of ignoring the fact that Louis existed, and that coping mechanism had done wonders for him this far.  What was it going to be like not only having to be in the same room as him regularly, but having to pretend like Louis hadn’t broken Harry’s heart and stomped all over it?  

Harry didn’t have a choice.  Ready or not, this was happening, so Harry was going to have to find a way to make this work.  Maybe they could find a way to make it so they only had to talk about each other during their own interviews and rarely actually be seen together.  That would be great.  He’d have to see what he could do about that.

Heaving a sigh, Harry picked up the pen and let it create an inkblot on the signature line before he actually moved his hand to sign.  

Harry stared at the papers as if it wasn’t him who had just signed them.  He could do this.  He could.  He could pretend he was still as in love with Louis Tomlinson as he had been all those years ago no problem.  He was now an actor in addition to a musician for fuck’s sake, he could make this work.

Harry stood up and walked to his balcony to have his first cigarette in at least a month.  He was shaking so bad he could hardly light up, but eventually he got it.  He closed his eyes, took a deep pull, and let the smoke weave it’s way through him so he could feel the relief it always brought him weave it’s way through his veins.  He slowly blew it out and it was then he knew without a shadow of a doubt.

There was no way he was going to be okay.

 

*

At the first blare of his alarm clock, Louis groaned deeply and hit the snooze button. He didn’t want to wake up from the blissful blackness of medicated sleep, didn’t want to face the day ahead. He rolled over and cuddled into his blankets and the warm comfort of a few more minutes of denial. 

When the alarm went off a second time, the shrill noise grating on his nerves even worse than before, Louis reached out of his blankets and picked up the clock, shutting it off and then tossing the offending thing across the room. He immediately felt a bit better. He knew he couldn’t put off the day for much longer, but he was going to wring every last second of freedom that he could from this morning.

The vibration of Louis’ phone ringing on his night stand eventually forced him to admit that his time to himself was over. Louis grudgingly sat up and reached for the phone, groaning again at Elena’s contact before accepting the call.

“Hello, Elena. Lots of stress on the  _ hell _ part because that’s where I’ll be for at least the next six months,” Louis answered, saccharine sweet and condescending. “How is  _ your _ day going?”

“Just fantastic, Louis,” Elena answered, mimicking Louis’ tone. “Having to deal with bratty popstars when they wake up on the wrong side of their luxurious, king-sized beds is the  _ best _ part of my day.”

This was why Louis had always loved Elena, she was great at giving as good as she got, not taking any of Louis’ shit. Much like someone else Louis knew… that he was absolutely not thinking about.

“Alright,” Louis sighed, running a hand through his sleep-matted hair. He just wanted to cut straight to the point and get this over with. “What do you need?” 

“You’re supposed to be at the label in an hour. Consider this your wake-up call.”

Louis’ brow furrowed as he tried to remember his schedule, glancing over at the alarm clock across that room that’s still glaring red numbers at him. It’s currently a little after nine a.m. “I thought the pap walk wasn’t until noon? I’m supposed to have breakfast with Niall today.”

“Sorry, Lou. The higher ups decided that you need a warm up before they let you and Harry out together in a public setting,” Elena told him and if she hadn’t sounded at least a little apologetic about the change in plans, he would have told her where the higher ups could stick their warm up.

“Elena, please don’t do this.” Louis wasn’t above whining this early in the morning. “Don’t make me spend more time with him than absolutely necessary.”

Elena actually sounded sympathetic as she told him, “It  _ is _ necessary, Louis. We need to know that you can pretend no matter what your feelings actually are.”

Louis rubbed at the pain in his temples, he was getting a stress headache. “Fine. Now, if you don’t mind, I have a breakfast to cancel.”

“I’m sor-” Elena was cut off as Louis hung up and dropped his phone on the bed beside him, elbows on his knees as he dropped his head into his hands. He thought he’d have time to prepare himself for seeing Harry again, up close and in person, but apparently, he was being thrown straight into the frying pan. The problem was, he wasn’t sure he could manage to not get burned.

He called quickly and canceled his breakfast with his best friend and then went to his closet to pick out something amazing to wear. If he was going to be faced with his ex first thing in the morning, he was gonna look absolutely sinful doing it. Let that fucker see what he’d been missing out on.

 

*

 

Walking into the conference room at the label, Louis felt invincible. He was a healthy fifteen minutes late - not incredibly professional but a good boost for his ego, making his ex wait for him -  and he looked amazing if he did say so himself. 

“Sorry I’m late,” he started, but then he looked up from his phone and his jaw dropped.

The room was fucking  _ empty _ . Where the hell was Harry?

Louis squawked in outrage. He’d gone to all this trouble to spite Harry just to be screwed over at the last second? His skin burned hot with rage.

“Something the matter, Louis?” A deep voice rumbled in his ear, as Harry suddenly materialized, squeezing by him and through the doorway. He looked beautiful, even more irresistible than Louis remembered. He’d obviously beaten Louis at his own game and Louis’ chest was aching for it.

Louis’ jaw tensed before he forced a smile. “Not at all, Harry. Lovely to see you again.”

Harry’s eyes trailed over Louis slowly as he sat in a chair and a sly smirk grew on his face. “I’d say the same, but I don’t like to lie.”

Louis rolled his eyes and tossed himself down in a chair opposite him. He’d probably rather be beside him, so he didn’t have to see his stupid, smug face but he also wasn’t willing to give Harry his blindspot. Harry already knew far too many of Louis’ weaknesses, he wasn’t willing to give him another one, no matter how small. “How’s that going for you? The not lying,” Louis asked, poking at what he knew was a sore spot for Harry. It was for him as well, but you know… misery loves company and all that. 

“Not well,” Harry admits easily with a shrug. “But after this one last  _ massive _ lie about being in love with  _ you _ , I won’t have to lie anymore.”

_ Fuck. _ That hurt more than Louis cared to admit. He didn’t even really have the energy to retort after that hit. “Congratulations,” he said bitterly, falling quiet and looking at his hands as he played with his fingernails.

He could hear Harry sigh on the other side of the table, see the telltale movement of Harry leaning forward as though he was going to say something. Louis looked up, waiting for it.

“Alright!” A man Louis didn’t know interrupted, clapping his hands together as he walked in next to Elena. Louis didn’t like the look of him, he looked… smarmy. “Let’s get this ball rolling.”

Harry and Louis sighed in unison and sat back in their chairs. Just like they used to do when they were together. It was a subconscious thing, being utterly in sync with each other. Louis hated the fact that they still seemed to be, immediately sitting up in his chair again. If Harry noticed, he gave no sign but Elena laughed in delight beside the unknown man. 

“This might just work,” Elena told all of them. 

At the moment, Louis wasn’t sure if that would be a good thing or not.

 

*

 

Harry glared at Mike.  He hated that man with almost all of his being, and yet he was still feeling a war within himself, because sitting right across from him was Louis.  God, why had his team decided this meeting was necessary?  And where was Jeff, anyway?  Wasn’t he supposed to be here for all of this shit?

Harry did feel a little bad about what he’d said to Louis just moments before douche canoe and the unknown woman who seemed to be Louis’ manager joined them, but he couldn’t help it.  Louis had caught him completely off guard.  Of course Harry had known that Louis would look fantastic, it wasn’t like Harry was completely blind to what Louis had been up to, but  _ damn. _

Harry tried to recover the confidence that was his only protection and put on his mask of self assured celebrity.  “Sure, Mike.  Whatever you say.  What do you want us to do as a practice run, anyway?  Just show we won’t kill each other?”

Louis snorted and Harry glanced at him before looking back towards Mike.

“Actually, we wanted you to show us what it might look like for you two to be on a date at a restaurant,” Jeff said, finally showing up.  “You know that will be coming sooner rather than later.”

Harry rolled his eyes.  “Can’t we just have us get papped together in a car or something and then show up wearing each other’s clothes one day for fan photos and let the media do the rest?”

“Wow, you really like putting a lot of effort into these things, don’t you,” Louis muttered beneath his breath.

Harry turned to Louis, rage igniting within him.  “Listen, I know that you’re the one who never had to sacrifice his artistic integrity and were against bearding from the fucking beginning, but you have no fucking idea what I have had to do these last six years.”

Louis sat forward, his eyes glinting and going darker the way they always did when he was livid.  Fuck, Harry had forgotten about that over the years, but the memories came back as if it were yesterday.  

“You’re so sure about me and what I’ve been through, aren’t you?  You curly haired cunt!  Already judging me and we haven’t been back in the same room for five minutes yet!”

Harry squawked in surprise and the anger was incredibly close to boiling over if he didn’t get ahold of himself.  He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, counting to ten before releasing his breath on another long count of ten.  It hadn’t helped the hot feeling bubbling within him, feeling like it just needed a chance to take over him completely, but it had helped him not lash out the way he had before.  Yoga had helped in some way, at least.

“Let’s just do our fucking job and get this over with so we don’t have to be around each other more than we possibly have to.”

Louis pursed his lips and Harry knew he wanted to say something, but ultimately he folded his arms and leaned back in the chair.  “Fine.”

Harry flicked his eyes up to Jeff who just looked at him with his eyebrows raised.  Harry rolled his eyes.  He’d  _ told _ Jeff it wasn’t a good idea.  That he’d rather do absolutely anything outside of going back into the closet than stunt with Louis.  Damn it.  How had this happened.

“Okay!” Jeff said brightly, clapping his hands.  “That was great, guys.  You did a fantastic job at diffusing that situation.  Now we need to tone down the hate and ramp up the long term lovers!”

Harry and Louis both said, “Fuck off,” in unison, causing them to chuckle before remembering where they were.  He could do this.  He was a bloody actor.  

Harry did his best to remember everything he’d learned from all his acting lessons as well as the experience he had with Dunkirk and started the show.

 

*

 

“You got white mocha sauce in your iced chai?  Seriously?”

Harry pouted down at his drink before taking a sip and looking at Louis as he hollowed his cheeks.  As expected, Louis’ eyes widened before he focused on his own caramel macchiato.  Harry let the slightly sweet but still spicy and creamy beverage slowly slide down his throat before turning to Louis with a wide smile.

“Hell, yeah.  It’s the perfect balance, unlike yours.”  Harry eyed Louis’ cup warily and Louis smacked Harry on the shoulder.

“Fuck off,” Louis said, his smile easily detected in his voice.  Louis was almost better at acting this shit out than Harry was.  “We should probably walk closer, yeah?  The pap needs some where we’re walking closer so they can start the rumor pages.”

Harry looked to his left where the pap was staked out, ready to get the photos of them walking to Harry’s Range Rover.

Harry sighed.  “Yeah.  Then we’ll make sure he has plenty of time to get shots of me holding the door open for you before I climb in and sit at the exit for long enough that he gets plenty of shots there too, right?”

Louis smirked.  “You got it, Pop Star.”

“Oh God,” Harry mumbled.  “How you can work so much derision into that title when you yourself are  _ also _ a Pop Star is incredible.”

Louis shrugged and took a sip of his drink before hissing.  “They always make these so damn hot.”

Harry laughed.  “You never were good at waiting.  I always said if you just asked for a couple pieces of ice, it would make it a better temperature for you faster.”

And Harry froze.  Shit.  He really shouldn’t have said that.

“Yeah,” Louis said, the bitterness evident in his tone with just that one word.  “You always knew exactly the way to do shit right, even from the very beginning.  Didn’t you?”

Harry rolled his eyes but plastered a smile on as he walked a little closer and he could hear the shutter going.  He unlocked his car and opened the door, nodding to Louis.

“You got it.  I was the boy with all the answers,” he said sarcastically.  

Louis tilted his head and gave Harry a malicious grin before patting Harry’s cheek condescendingly.

“And now you’re the man who knows nothing.”

Without saying anything more, Louis climbed into the car and Harry shut the door.  He practically ran round the front to the driver’s side so he could climb in and get them out of there.  At this point every fucking second counted and he needed to get away from fucking Louis Tomlinson before he did something he regretted.

 

*

Louis was staring at his own face on the cover of The fucking  _ Sun _ . He  _ hated _ The Sun and Elena knew it. He wondered if she was trying to get back at him for something. Or maybe this had something to do with Harry’s people, because Harry was there too, right next to Louis, drinking that weird drink of his and smirking.

“Niall, can you  _ please _ throw that trash away?” Louis groaned and rested his head on the table. He was sick of looking at it. He was supposed to be gushing over his upcoming single with his best friend and instead  _ this _ was what he had to deal with, the aftermath of his pap walk with Harry.

Niall lowered the paper and looked over at Louis pitifully. “Sure, Lou,” He answered, but instead of getting up and moving to drop it in the bin, he raised the paper again and continued what he was doing. “When I’m done with it.”

Louis lifted his head and narrowed his eyes at his friend. Something weird was going on. Niall was not this slow of a reader. When he heard the tale-tell snort of Niall holding in a laugh, Louis scoffed. “You fucker,” he ripped the paper from Niall’s hands, revealing Niall’s face, red with laughter. “I  _ knew _ you couldn’t have been reading all this time!”

Niall’s laughter just got louder now that he was not hiding it. “I was just seeing how long you would let me sit there reading it.”

Louis shook his head, standing up and crumpling the paper in his hands as he moved to toss it in the bin. He could probably recite the whole article by memory, he’d looked at it for so long when he bought it from the newsagents this morning. The photos were burned into his retinas probably, especially the one they took with his hand on Harry’s cheek. The photographer must have been really good at his job to make that bitter moment when Louis had patted his cheek look like something else entirely. The paper had commented on the tender touch and Louis had laughed out loud when he read it because there had been absolutely no tenderness in that moment.

“You do look pretty cozy together,” Niall commented, getting up to grab himself a box of Louis’ cereal and pour himself another bowl.  _ Without asking _ , the bastard.

“Bite your tongue,” Louis retorted, adamantly pointing at Niall. “I don’t think I could ever be  _ cozy  _ with that prat ever again. We have enough trouble as it is just being civil.”

“Aww, come on, Lou,” Niall coaxed, throwing an arm over Louis’ shoulder while he shoveled cereal into his mouth with the other. “You loved each other once, you can’t tell me that went away completely,” he says with his mouth full.

Louis cringes at the sight, leaning away from Niall and forcing his arm from his shoulder. “Yes. I can.”

Niall gives him a look like he doesn’t believe him but just spoons up more cereal, and yeah, maybe Louis can’t blame Niall for not believing him. Niall was there. He was another contestant on the X-Factor, he’d seen how the show and all their contracts and rules had been the start of Harry and Louis’ downfall. He’d seen how ruined Louis had been when it was over. Louis wasn’t even certain  _ he _ believed he was completely over Harry.

“So, tell me about this single you’re working on,” Niall said, changing the subject just when Louis’ thoughts were getting dangerous. That was one reason Louis loved Niall, he always knew when Louis was reaching a breaking point.

“It’s gonna be amazing,” Louis immediately launched into the tale of how he ended up doing a freaking duet with Bebe Rexha. “Bebe Rexha, Niall. How fucking cool is that? She’s absolutely incredible.”

“So, what’s the song?” Niall asked, draining the milk from his bowl with a slurp.

“Fireproof,” Louis answered as nonchalantly as possible, already knowing what Niall’s reaction was going to be and hoping to minimize the force of it.

“Firepr-,  _ Louis _ . That’s the song you wrote for—,”

“Yeah, well it didn’t work out, did it, Niall?” Louis cut his best friend off before he could finish that sentence. He didn’t need the reminder of how this song came about, how he’d been determined to write it for Harry and use it to show him that Louis was willing to work on their relationship. He’d been so in love and sick of them hurting each other but for every hurt there had been something there, holding them together, Louis thought maybe that meant that they were made to last. They weren’t though. They weren’t made to last because the day after he’d finished the song, Harry had signed a contract to take on a fake girlfriend when they already had Louis’ beard to contend with and Louis couldn’t take it anymore. They’d had so many late night talks and even fights about how hard it was, Harry having to watch Louis with his fake girlfriend, Louis not having enough time for  _ them _ . Louis had given so many apologies and tried to make it very clear to Harry that he was doing everything he could just to make it to the end of that stupid contract so that Harry would know that  _ he _ was Louis’ priority, that Louis would always choose him. But he must have failed.  And with this new contract of Harry’s, he felt like Harry had stopped choosing  _ him  _ in return, so he’d broken up with Harry and had nearly binned the song. For some reason he couldn’t name, he held onto it though. And now Bebe was helping him repurpose it, turn it into something he could still be proud of. 

“Are you gonna tell him?” Niall asked as delicately as Niall ever does anything. Which is to say, not at all.

“It’s not  _ for _ him anymore. It’s for me,” Louis said sharply, snatching the bowl and spoon away from Niall and moving to drop them in his sink. 

“Ok, Lou,” Niall said, sneaking up behind him and giving him a great big Horan hug. “That’s great,” he added, face smushed into Louis’ shoulder as he spoke. “I’m glad something good has come of it. You deserve it.”

“Ugh,” Louis sneers playfully, gripping Niall’s arms where they cover his chest. “ _ Feelings. _ Get off me.”

“Nuh uh,” Niall shakes his head, squeezing Louis tighter.

Louis coughs. “Niall,” he wheezes. “Breath. I need breath.”

“Shut up. I’m not squeezing you that tight,” Niall replies, nuzzling his nose into Louis’ neck because he knows it tickles.

Louis lets out an involuntary giggle and struggles against Niall’s grip. “Stop.” He laughs, but really, with people like Niall in his life, Louis figures he might make it through all this.

 

*

 

The next month or two were fairly low key, Harry’s focus mainly on the shitload of meetings he had detailing the promo plan for his single, then the album, then tour, and then Dunkirk.  Basically, Harry’s entire life for the foreseeable future would be promo for his music, the film, or himself.  Luckily, for now at least, that mostly required just an occasional pap walk with Louis.

Fuck those pap walks were the worst.  It was never much more than just grabbing a coffee together and walking to the car, but those precious minutes where he was forced to be in Louis’ company pissed Harry off so bad it almost negated all of his hard work he’d done practicing his yoga regularly.

It didn’t really matter now, though.  Now the shitshow with Louis was changing gears.  They’d laid the groundwork and now came the time where Harry would be specifically asked about his love life and Louis during his interviews.

“Harold, I’m offended.  You aren’t even paying attention to me right now.”  

Harry looked up and found Nick pouting at him.  Right.  Harry needed to get his head in the game so he could remember what was going on.  He was quite nervous, really.  His first single after coming out.  He was almost more scared of learning if his fans would still be there to support him with this aspect of his life than he was when he actually came out.  This could make or break him.

“Sorry, Nicholas,” Harry said with his usual charming grin.  “Give me a minute to have my coffee kick in and I’ll be my usual attentive self.”

Nick snorted in response.  “Sure you will.  You ready to do this?  I know it’s not airing until Friday, but this is kind of a big deal.  Your first single.”

Harry’s eyes widened.  “Yeah.  I’m as ready as I’m gonna be.  You don’t hate the music though, so at least I’ve got that.”

Nick threw his head back with laughter and Harry sipped his coffee again.  This was going to be painful, but if Harry could lie convincingly to one of his best friends while being recorded then all of this talking and pretending to be lovestruck during his promo would be just fine.

The interview with Nick was about as all interviews were, except they were given more leeway to wander and tease each other as much as they wanted since it was prerecorded.  They meandered their way through topics, Nick constantly waving his hands about and promising certain things would be cut.  Harry wasn’t so sure Nick actually would cut the embarrassing bits out, but the look Jeff gave sometimes confirmed the parts where Nick teased about how Harry wasn’t getting any would definitely be left out.

Even though it  _ was  _ the truth.  God, was it the truth.

“Okay, Harry.  Talk to me, I’m begging you.  There are a couple love songs on this album that just shook me to my core and then in your coming out interviews there was talk about a possible long time beau!”

“Yes, I’m sorry to break it to you, Nicholas, but you’re not the love of my life.”

“Oh, I am heartbroken!” Nick cried, clutching his chest.  “No, but really.  How long have you been hiding this man from me?”

Harry gave a little smirk.  “Who said I’d been hiding him from you?”

Nick gave a theatrical gasp.  “What do you mean?  I don’t understand, you’re being far too cryptic, Styles.”  

Harry gave a coy shrug and said, “Maybe all we’ve been doing is hiding in plain sight and no one gave us a second thought until recently.”

“Are you saying that all those photos I’ve been seeing of you and Louis looking chummy in the rags are more than just gossip fodder?”

Nick really did look interested now.  He knew about Harry’s history with Louis, but Harry and Nick hadn’t become friends until after Harry had mostly healed his broken heart.  For all Nick knew, Harry had been secretly dating Louis all these years.  When Harry needed someone to confide in and vent to, he often went to his mum or Gemma.  Nick just got the bawdy jokes and his secret about being gay, but Harry never pulled with him when they went out.  Maybe he really had lived his life in a way that was perfect for this kind of a stunt.

Harry squinted as he pretended to consider how to answer this question that he’d  _ actually _ practiced answering in front of his mirror several times.

“I’m not  _ not _ saying those are just people gossiping, but they’re never the whole truth either, are they?”

“Oh you saucy minx,” Nick said, sitting back in his chair and taking in Harry.  “Please tell me I’m getting the exclusive here.  Are you in fact dating Louis Tomlinson?”

Harry shrugged and smiled broadly.  “Oh, I don’t know, Nick.  But we are definitely good friends.”

Nick hummed and moved on to the next topic.  Harry knew Nick wouldn’t let him off with this now that he’d got the beginning of the story, at least for his show.  Harry would be coming clean to him soon enough, but for now at least, he felt he’d done better than expected.

Jeff’s approving grin supported that as well.

 

*

 

“ _ But we are definitely good friends _ ,” Louis mimicked Harry’s morbid way of speaking, adopting a sneer as he spoke to his reflection. “Fucking slow-talking twat.” He leaned forward to get a better look at his neck as he shaved, listening to the rest of the interview he’d downloaded from that morning on Elena’s advice and only feeling the need to mock Harry every few minutes. It was a definite improvement from the days he’d felt the constant need to put Harry in his place when they’d started this whole fucked-up business a few months ago. Elena would be proud.

Louis finished shaving and picked up a facial towel to wipe at the excess foam on his jaw. He thought he looked pretty nice. He could have let the hair and makeup specialist he knew Harry’s people worked with shave him but he didn’t want to put his sexy scruff in the hands of a stranger. He was still making it his mission to look as good as possible when he had to see Harry and he thought he was doing a good job of it without any help. Of course, Harry must have the exact same mission because every time he appeared for a meeting or another pap walk, Louis wanted to kick him and lick him in equal measure. It wasn’t a problem. Not yet.

Louis cleaned up the mess that his sink had become and threw the towel in the dirty laundry. He looked around his bathroom, it was relatively clean and Louis grinned thinking back to when Harry used to get exasperated with him when they shared a room at the X-Factor house. He’d been so lazy and messy then, Harry would probably die of shock if he saw him now.

The thoughts of  _ Harry _ and  _ now _ reminded Louis of what he was doing. He had to go with Harry for his appearance on Jonathan Ross tonight and the smile fell off Louis’ face as he went to his closet to put on the outfit Elena had sent over for him to wear. He was supposed to subtly match Harry for anyone who glimpsed him waiting around watching Harry’s performance of his new song and subsequent interview. They were slowly moving past the “are they or aren’t they” rumours phase of their PR and right into the “supportive boyfriends” stage.

Louis dressed quickly, not really caring what he was throwing on. He was nervous about having to be seen with Harry in a setting where people would be watching them. Sure, people had seen them on their pap walks but they hadn’t been monitored the whole time by a studio audience. If they fought, it would likely be noticed. And they probably would fight. Because nerves weren’t the only thing Louis was feeling. He was jealous that Harry was getting to go out and perform. His single was coming out first and Louis was itching to get to put out his music. So far, it seemed Harry was getting the most out of this PR deal and Louis was ready for a little reciprocation.

A car was supposed to pick Louis up soon and he was restless. He slipped on his dress shoes and fixed his hair in his bathroom mirror until he got a text that the car was there. He sighed in relief and ran out to meet it, the sooner this shitshow was over, the sooner Louis’ stomach would stop tying itself into all kinds of toxic knots.

“Hold hands when you walk him out of his green room when it’s time for his performance. Let people see that you are, in fact, a couple,” Elena directed from the seat next to him as they drove to the studio.

Louis groaned and thought about banging his head against the window. “Is Harry getting these same instructions?”

“Probably,” she answered, turning her head to look at him sternly. “People will be there watching every interaction between the two of you, Louis. This is serious. You need to play the part of the smitten boyfriend here. You can’t be arguing.”

Louis sighed, looking out the tinted window to the world beyond that always seemed to be passing him by way too fast. “I know.”

“Good.” Louis could hear the approval in her tone before she continued to rattle off instructions that Louis had absolutely no desire to follow. He nodded along, listening even though he didn’t want to and praying that they would get to the studio quickly.

*

Louis didn’t bother knocking when he got to Harry’s green room, opening the door and startling Harry and some woman who was all up in his face. Louis snorted in contempt and walked in, strolling over to the sofa and plopping down on it.

“Thank you, Louise,” Harry said, dismissing the woman with a tight smile.

“Another bird you’re fucking on the side?” Louis spit out bitterly when she’d gone. It didn’t help that Harry looked amazing, yet again.

Harry’s reflection in the mirror in front of him glared at Louis. “She’s hair and makeup, Louis,” his eyes fell to his hands that Louis knew were picking at his fingernails like he always did when he was nervous before a show. “And there was never anyone on the side, you know that. That was never our problem.”

Louis bit his lip, watching Harry with a mild amount of guilt. He knew that if Harry wasn’t so nervous, he’d be fighting back instead of letting Louis get away with being an arse. This should be an exciting night for Harry and Louis got the distinct impression that his presence wasn’t helping the nerves that seemed to be keeping Harry from enjoying it.

Exhaling loudly, Louis pulled himself up from the sofa and crossed the short distance to Harry’s chair, turning it so that Louis could see him,  _ real _ Harry and not a backwards reflection.

Harry raised his eyes, eyebrow arching at the sight of Louis standing so close. “What? Want to tear me down a bit more?”

“Coulda done that from over there,” Louis nodded back to the sofa he’d just come from. “Actually, I just wanted to stop you from tearing up your fingernails like you’re currently doing.” He reached out and pulled Harry’s hands apart, placing them down on arms of his chair. He held them down by the wrists, his hands acting as manacles to hold them in place.

Harry stared down at Louis’ hands for a moment before slowly bringing his gaze to Louis’. “Why do you care?”

“It annoys me,” Louis answered with a sneer as he let go, regretting trying to help in the first place.  Of course Harry would turn an act of civility into something to fight over.

Harry didn’t reply but caught Louis’ wrist before he could flounce angrily back to the sofa. He held on with no explanation forthcoming and Louis let him, immobilized by the possibilities of what he might have to say. He berated himself for caring at the same time as he stood waiting in anticipation.

“Thanks.” That’s all he got as Harry released him, turning his chair back to the mirror.

Louis closed his eyes, trying to ignore the memories that were struggling to surface and the constant sting of his heart trying to tear at old scars. “You should paint them,” he said, forcing himself to move away from Harry.

“Should I?” Harry asked wryly, like Louis’ advice was humorous somehow.

“You never used to pick at them when they were painted. When you like the way they look, you leave them alone,” Louis answered, sitting back down across the room and not looking back at the gaze he could feel aimed at him.

He heard Harry’s noncommittal hum at his words and thought that would be the end of it, but then that woman was coming back in the door. Louise. Louis winced at the name, wanting no connection to the women Harry surrounded himself with.

Louis watched impassively as Harry got his nails painted a matte black, his only emotion a smug feeling of pride when Harry indeed stopped picking at them as he waited for his performance. When Harry was called to perform, Louis stepped up next to him at the door of the green room, holding Harry’s hand as he’d been instructed. Harry didn’t react except to latch on so Louis knew that he must have been told they’d have to do this too.

Louis lifted their joined hands and studied Harry’s nails. “Nice.”

“Thanks,” Harry said, a slight upturn to the corner of his mouth. It felt too familiar, too much like old times. Louis couldn’t take it.

“This doesn’t change anything,” he said, walking with Harry to the stage where Harry would share his first single since coming out. “You’re still a dick.”

“Agreed,” Harry grinned, not bother to look anywhere but straight ahead. “You’re still an arse.”

When they reached the stage and Harry let go of his hand, Louis paused his movements, catching Harry’s elbow as he stood on tiptoes and pressed a kiss to Harry’s cheek.

Harry didn’t have time to react more than throwing Louis a questioning look his way before he was walking onto the stage, getting lost in the limelight as the lights went up and he was in his element again.

Louis dropped his face into his hands and proceeded to have an internal freakout. Because in all of the instructions that Elena had given him, in no way, shape, or form, was kissing Harry Styles anywhere on the list. 

 

*

 

Harry had the worst time focusing during Jonathan Ross and he honestly had no idea what he had said.  Which was bad, since he was supposed to be doing an ace job lying about Louis and him dating and going into detail about his music and the upcoming film that summer and all he could think was  _ Holy fucking shit Louis kissed me. _

Harry was on autopilot for the performance, which may have actually been a blessing since it was his first time performing it in front of an audience and he’d been about to piss himself before Louis suggested he paint his nails.  And kissed him.

Harry was back in his green room now, totally unaware of how he’d got there, but one thing he did know was Louis was there too and that’s all he needed.

“What the hell was that, Louis?”

Louis’ eyes were wide and Harry could read uncertainty in them but also the anger Harry was intimately familiar with. 

“That was a completely adequate performance given by the great Harry Styles, you should take another bow,” Louis said, voice hard enough Harry could almost feel it poking at his most vulnerable places.  

Harry could feel his nose flaring as he tried to practice his vinyasa breathing.  “You can’t just  _ do _ shit like that, Louis!”

Louis’ eyes hardened and all uncertainty he’d seen earlier was gone.  “Shit like  _ what, _ Harry?  Insult you?”

“Of course not, you’d do that anyway, you fucking dickhead!  You know what I’m talking about.  You can’t go off script.  I have to prepare for this kind of shit and you almost ruined my very first live performance of my single!  This is what everything is built off of!  You know how important this was, and you went out there and completely ruined my concentration by switching things up last minute like that and with no warning whatsoever!”

“Oh yes, we can’t have the newest  _ Prince of Pop _ who can  _ Do No Wrong _ go out and have anything less than his total concentration for an interview, even if it is recorded and you are able to do the song two, three, or even four times if needed.  Everything has to be perfect all the time, including his fucking ‘boyfriend’!” Louis said, even putting up the air quotes around boyfriend.

Harry was ready to go off on Louis again, but as he was taking in his breath to make his next point, the door to the room slammed.

“I need you two to fucking shut the hell up right this very instant.”

Harry turned to see Jeff standing by the door, seething.  Harry was incredibly relieved he now had someone on his side here.

“Jeff, thank God.  Will you  _ please _ tell him-”

“That includes you, Harry, and I’m being absolutely serious right now.”

Harry sucked in a breath and finally realized that Jeff truly was angry.  No, he was more than angry.  Harry had only seen this look on his face once before and it was after a miscommunication with a new member of security had nearly resulted in Harry being stranded in a very volatile fan situation with no help.

Voice low enough that Harry almost leaned in to make sure he could hear what he was saying, Jeff continued.  “I do believe Elena and I made it completely clear how important this was.  We made it  _ completely clear _ that we needed you two to look supportive of each other and in love.  We needed you to not leave a doubt in anyone’s mind that you were together, no holds barred, no questions asked.”

“Yes of course-” Louis started before Jeff once again cut him off.

“No.  Nope.  You two have done more than enough talking for today and now it is my turn.  This green room is not soundproof.  You know the kinds of ears and eyes that are around here as well as loose lips that are everywhere surrounding a set like this.  You two were just yelling so loud that I could clearly hear you from where I was standing near the exit!  We are now officially on cleanup and you two belong to me.  You had plans?  Cancel them.  That’s not my fucking fault, so don’t complain to me about it.  I own your asses right now, so you shut the fuck up, pull yourselves together, and in ten minutes I expect you to meet me at the exit looking exactly the part of loved up fucking boyfriends that you are supposed to be.”

Jeff stood there until he made eye contact with both Harry and Louis as well as nods of affirmation that they heard him and understood his terms before he crashed out of the room again.

“Fuck,” Harry said, running his hands through his hair.  “Fuck fuck  _ fuck! _ ”

“Shut up, Harry,” Louis hissed.  “Don’t make more trouble than we already have.”

Harry rolled his eyes.  “Yeah, cause this is all my fault.”

“I’m sorry, okay!” Louis whispered so fiercely that Harry saw spit fly from his mouth.  Louis got up in Harry’s face and jabbed his index finger into Harry’s chest.  “I’m sorry.  But this isn’t just me who fucked up, alright?  Now grow up, calm down, and let’s go out there and sell this bullshit.”

“Fucking hate you,” Harry whispered, spitefully.  He didn’t really mean it, hate was a strong word he despised using, but he was still livid over everything that had happened in the past hour or so and saying that did help him feel a little better.

“Well that’s mutual, babe,” Louis said, tone low and cruel.  “Glad we’ve discussed it.”

Harry stepped away from Louis and closed his eyes, trying to push away the hurt that still somehow made its way past all of Harry’s armor.  He took a deep breath, and let it out slowly.  He imagined breathing in crisp cool air and breathing out all of his anger, frustration, and hatred.  He’d felt those emotions, and now he was done with them.  It was time to let them go and do his job.  Which included pretending like he was still in fucking love with the only one who knew how to truly hurt him.

After a few minutes, during which Louis left him blissfully alone, Harry steeled himself and opened his eyes.  He found Louis sitting on the sofa, looking at his lap and bouncing his leg while his hands fidgeted with the hem of his shirt.

“You’re gonna stretch that out if you keep messing with it,” Harry said softly.  Gently.  It was his peace offering.  Things were far from okay and he was still hurt and angry and scared after everything that happened today, but he wasn’t getting out of this and it was the best he could do.

Louis shrugged.  “It’ll fit in better with everything else in my wardrobe then.”

Harry’s eyes flicked up to Louis’ face.  Was he that nervous all the time?  It used to be that Louis only ever messed with his shirt hem when he was really uncomfortable and unsure of himself.  It made Harry a little sad that Louis might have reason to feel that way constantly.  

He couldn’t dwell on that, though.  Harry took a breath in and held out his hand.

“Well, boyfriend.  Shall we go out and put on the best show this place has ever seen?”

Louis rolled his eyes, but he did smirk a bit.  “I’ll be the best boyfriend you’ve ever had.”

Harry hummed in amusement until Louis finally stood up and took Harry’s hand.  “Come on, boyfriend.”

They stood at the door for a second before Louis peeked up at Harry and then he reached out and opened the door.

 

*

 

“Jeff only booked one room.  So if the staff talk we have that too.”

Louis looked at Harry.  “This is ridiculous.  We both live in London, why the hell do we need a hotel room?”

Harry shrugged.  Louis’ phone pinged with a text.

“Shit.  Elena says we have to post on Insta and twitter.  Be active and interactive with fans as well as with each other.”

“Why the hell can’t we do this from the comfort of our own homes?” Harry whined before flopping onto the bed.  He stared at the ceiling until he heard the sound of the iPhone camera shutter.  Harry opened his eyes and tipped his head forward to look at Louis.  “What did you just do?”

Louis had a smirk on his face.  “I just took an incredibly unflattering photo of you.  I think that’s kinda what they wanted to happen.”

Harry’s eyebrows furrowed.  “What?”

Louis laughed, but sat down at the table across from the bed.  “No, like.  I think they want us to take photos and post them and have them subtly show the other in the background or something.  Ya know?”

Harry sat up fully and when he looked at the telly, he realized he could see Louis’ reflection in it.  If he took a photo of his new boots he was wearing with the TV in the background, anyone looking close enough would be able to see Louis in the background.  

“Fuck, hold on.  Don’t move.”

Louis rolled his eyes and kept scrolling on his phone.  Harry made sure the duvet was completely wrinkle free and flopped down on it.  He had to practically throw his head and shoulders off the bed in order to get the angle just right so he got his shoes and Louis’ reflection in the shot in such a way that it wasn’t completely obvious, but he finally did it.

He stayed half on, half off the bed as he scrolled through the filters and finally settled on a black and white one he liked.  He captioned it with “Aren’t you something to admire” and posted it to his Instagram and Twitter.

“There.  See if they like that.”

Louis remained quiet and Harry watched the numbers of likes and retweets go up until, “The fuck is that caption, Styles?”

Harry giggled.  “It’s the first part of the first line from the song  _ Mirrors _ by Justin Timberlake.  The following lines are  _ 'cause your shine is something like a mirror, and I can't help but notice, you reflect in this heart of mine. _  Do you get it?”

Harry rolled over so he could lie on his stomach and prop up on his arms.  Louis studied the photo as he repeated the line to himself and then suddenly his jaw dropped.

“Shit, you can see me in the TV!”  He looked over at Harry with something that, if Harry was being generous, could possibly be described as awe.  “Well done!”

Harry smiled.  The song lyrics for clues were a thing he’d done with his fandom when he was still fighting with his team to be able to come out.  He’d post lyrics and the line that followed was the clue he wanted them to find.  He didn’t really need it anymore, thank God, but it was still kinda fun.  And the reflection references definitely would tip them off to finding Louis in the TV.

Harry went on Twitter to look through some of his mentions, since fan interaction was requested...well, demanded...of them.

Most were the replies that were automatically sent whenever he tweeted or asking for follows, but there were a few fun ones he liked or followed.  Once he’d done that a bit he threw his phone down and, of course, immediately after there was a text alert.

Harry rolled his eyes and picked up the phone to see a message from Jeff.

_ Great post on Instagram.  Make sure one of you leaves wearing something that obviously belongs to the other in the morning.  _

“We’re gonna have to trade some clothes in the morning,” Harry said.  “I’m also considering leaving out the back and then coming back in the morning before we have the scheduled pap walk.”

Louis snorted from the table but said nothing else.

“What?  Have a problem with my actually wanting to sleep in my own bed since I’m  _ actually _ in my own city right now?”

“No, I have a problem with you wanting to half arse everything to do with this when  _ you’re _ the one actually benefitting from it.”

The now very familiar flame of anger licked up Harry’s spine.  Again.  “I don’t half arse anything.  And what the hell do you mean I’m the only one benefitting?  Is your name not attached to this whole shitshow?”

“It is, but come on.  My own promo doesn’t start, not  _ really, _ for another month or so.  By that time this will be old hat and what do I really get from that?”

Harry narrowed his eyes.  “Oh, I don’t know.  Maybe a fake boyfriend who will have a hopefully successful album released directly after coming out as well as a role in a hit film that will be on it’s way to hopefully the Oscars to talk about as you do promo?  That can’t hurt, can it?”

Louis let out a laugh that sounded anything but lighthearted.  “Yeah.  Can’t hurt.  God, you never were lacking in confidence of your abilities, were you?”

Harry drew back as if he had been slapped.  Louis of all people knew that he questioned himself basically nonstop.  Louis was the reason that Harry had grown in confidence enough to make it as far on The X Factor as he did and he knew that Harry always worried about how people would accept his work.  His art.  Himself.  It was because of that painful shared history that Harry knew Louis was saying this specifically to hurt him.

“Just take a few more photos and then let’s go so we can meet back here in the early hours.”

“Sure, Harry.  Whatever you say.”

Harry wasn’t sure which he hated more, Louis fighting absolutely everything he said or Louis giving in so they wouldn’t have to talk any further.

 

*

 

Time seemed to pass in a blur of hostile hand holding and whisper-shouted fights behind the scenes of whatever promo Harry was doing. Louis was getting sick of being the doting ‘boyfriend’ who always got left in the cold and was becoming increasingly impatient for his own promo. But all of his pain and suffering was about to pay off because Louis was finally getting started on his own promo.

Harry’s album had just come out and Harry was about to release a surprise Behind the Album film so Louis knew he still had some things to do for Harry’s promo but all of that was overshadowed by the fact that he was filming a fucking teaser for his new single with Bebe today. Even the fact that Elena and Jeff had ordered Harry to be at the shoot for it wasn’t bringing down Louis’ spirits. He’d had a moment where he’d panicked but Harry had never heard the song before, didn’t know that Louis wrote it for him, so it was easy enough for Louis to forget for the moment that he had.

They rode in the same car to the set where the teaser was being shot, neither of them speaking. It was easier just to not talk when they didn’t have to. Harry looked like he wanted to say something, had since he’d got in the car but Louis was adamant about ignoring him. He’d immediately put in a pair of headphones and turned on the demo copy Fireproof that was on his phone, listening to it to psych himself up for this. Bebe sounded so amazing and their voices set each other off so well, he was bobbing his head along with the music before he even realized it.

When they were almost to the set, Louis chanced a glance at Harry just in time to see him turn away, a tiny smile turning up the corners of his lips. He ripped out his headphones and studied the other man. Was he laughing at Louis?

“What?” Louis asked, tone showing his curiosity but he knew it wouldn’t take much to turn hostile.

Harry turned back to him, brows raised in a look of innocence. “Hmm?” He hummed, biting his lip but Louis knew he’d been smiling. He’d seen it with his own fucking eyes.

“What are you smiling about?” Louis raised an eyebrow, he was already scowling in anticipation of what Harry would say to make fun of him.

Harry shook his head, dimples appearing in his cheeks even though he was still fighting to keep a straight face. “Nothing.”

“Don't give me that bullshit,” Louis huffed impatiently. “I  _ saw _ you smiling.”

Harry sighed, rolling his eyes at Louis. “It's nothing  _ bad _ ,” he amended, running a hand through his hair before letting it fall back into his lap. “I just…,” he took another breath, considering his words. “I remember what it was like, having a new single to debut. It wasn't that long ago as you may recall and I just remember the excitement, how great it felt to have something new to share.” He shrugged, looking back out the window. “It’s wonderful, right?”

He was wearing his smile with no shame now and it was a sight to behold. Louis couldn’t help the urge to smile back. He fought it, but he wasn’t sure how well he succeeded as he answered, “It is pretty great, yeah.”

Harry’s smile widened at his response and Louis felt like some gap between them had been bridged, just for a moment. It was a shaky thing, a dinky rope bridge that would toss him over just as soon as help him across, but it was something. There had been moments like this several times throughout their PR relationship but one of them always seemed apt to burn the bridge before anyone could even think of trying it. Louis was determined not to do that this time. If anything was going to come of this whole PR mess, they needed to get better at it, if only so they didn’t kill each other before they could reap the benefits.

When they got to the set, Louis climbed out of the car, immediately reaching for Harry’s hand when Harry followed him. It was instinctual now. It almost felt natural. Harry’s hand was ready and waiting, wrapping Louis’ in it without a second thought. The simple, automatic act would make Louis  _ feel things _ , if he let it. He squeezed Harry’s fingers in excitement for the busy day ahead, not really noticing he’d done it until Harry squeezed back without a word. He was still wearing that grin though and Louis had to look away when he felt a confusing mix of irritability and fondness.

After introducing Harry to all the necessary people and watching him be polite and wonderful to everyone, Louis basically ignored him for the rest of the shoot. It wasn’t easy but Louis managed, disregarding the frown that began to mar that pretty face more and more as time passed.

When the shoot was over, Louis climbed back into the car with Harry on his heels. He could clearly see Harry trying to say something to him but he, very pointedly, put his earphones in again and didn’t let Harry get a word out. He didn’t know what Harry was going to say but he wasn’t sure he could stomach it, not with the way his feelings were still warring within him.

Harry sighed, giving in and turning to look out the window with obvious frustration, leaving Louis to listen to the music that, incidentally, wasn’t even playing on his phone. Louis probably shouldn’t have felt as disappointed as he did when Harry didn’t fight him on it.  He could feel his own cheeks burning with frustration, though whether it was at himself or Harry, he wasn’t sure anymore. Or maybe it was neither. Maybe it was just heat from the flames of another bridge burning to ash.

*

“Come on, Niall,” Louis called, hurrying Niall along. It was Niall’s dumb idea to watch Harry’s stupid film about his album anyway, so there was no way Louis was watching it without him.

“You’re not gonna start it without me,” Niall called back over the noise of the microwave popping his popcorn. He possibly knew Louis a little too well.

Louis rolled his eyes. It’s not like they were taking a trip to the cinema, he didn’t know why Niall needed popcorn. This was for research purposes. Because somewhere in the film, Louis knew Harry had to mention him by name. It was part of their PR deal. This time it wasn’t going to be some vague allusion to the fact that they  _ might  _ be dating. This wasn’t to get rumors going. This was like, The Big Admission. Harry had filmed the interview parts after he’d found out that Louis was his partner for this stunt, so, now after all the rumors, the fans hearing about Louis in the film would give their little stunt more credibility. 

“Alright, I’m here,” Niall announced, flopping down next to Louis on his couch, a beer in one hand and popcorn spilling from a bowl in the other.

“Hey,” Louis groused, nudging Niall with his elbow and gesturing to the drink. “Where’s mine?”

“In the kitchen where you left it, I guess,” Niall answered with a carefree shrug and grin, dodging when Louis made to smack him over the head.

“Fine,” Louis huffed, getting up. “Go ahead and start it.”

Niall shrugged again, picking up the remote and starting the film.

Louis got his beer and lingered, taking his time getting a bottle opener and popping off the top. He was nervous if he was honest, not knowing what to expect from the film and unsure how he would feel learning so much about Harry again.

“Are you coming back or not?” Niall called after about five minutes.

Louis took a deep breath and left the kitchen, sitting next to Niall again and trying not to fall into the green eyes and dimpled smile that had taken over his television.

It was hard not to be mesmerized by Harry. Louis had always thought he was incredibly talented and he could see clearly as he watched that Harry’s talent had only grown over the years. He found himself smiling at Harry’s very  _ Harry-like _ antics when he interacted with his band, an unbidden relief washing over him as he realized that he still knew the man he was watching even though Louis hadn’t been privy to these parts of Harry since he was little more than a boy.

And then came the part about Louis.

“ _ Is there any inspiration for this song _ ,” an off-screen voice asked.

“Yeah. Yeah,” Harry nodded, giving the interviewer a sly half-grin. “I mean they all have some kind of inspiration. But yeah, the inspiration for ‘Sweet Creature’ is very personal to me.”

“ _ Is it about someone special _ ,” the interviewer asked and if Louis didn’t know Harry, he might not have noticed the annoyed little nostril flare. Louis bit his lip as he watched, certain now that this was the part about him.

“Yeah,” Harry answered quietly, biting his lip and looking down in contemplation. “It’s about someone incredibly special to me. Um, my boyfriend, Louis Tomlinson.”

“ _ He’s ‘sweet creature’ _ ?” Louis really wished the stupid interviewer would just quit butting in. Still, he sat on the edge of his seat waiting for Harry’s answer.

Harry’s gaze stayed down, not looking at the camera as he smiled, looking utterly fond. “I’ve always thought so,” his words sounded playful and Louis wasn’t sure if it was some private dig, calling Louis a creature, or if he was trying to look smitten. Louis thought he might be succeeding if he was.

“ _ Doesn’t sound like it was always smooth sailing for you two, based on the lyrics of the song _ .”

Harry shook his head minutely, gaze finally meeting the camera and, unless Louis was imagining things, his eyes looked a little glassy. “It wasn’t. It wasn’t easy, being together and not being out. We’d fight sometimes without actually communicating and we were both stubborn as fuck. Still are a bit if I’m honest,” Harry laughed softly, expression serious again a moment later as he continued. “But none of it really mattered. At the end of the day I just wanted to be with him. That was all I needed. Aaaand, that is the story of how ‘Sweet Creature’ came to be.” Harry laughed again, covering his embarrassment even as he sniffed and wiped at his eyes.

Louis watched with his teeth buried in his bottom lip as the song was played next, Harry looking completely at ease, singing his heart out about someone that was absolutely not Louis in a room with amazing acoustics. His heart clenched as he listened to it, his own eyes beginning to water at how easily their story fit with the song. It could be about them, but Louis knew that it wasn’t. Harry wouldn’t have wasted the time on him after the way their relationship had fallen apart. That was what hurt the most, Louis found, the fact that he was  _ wishing _ it could have been about them. For a single second Harry had made him  _ believe _ in them again and Louis was livid.

“I can’t watch this anymore,” Louis bit out, leaning forward to pick up the remote and shut the television off.

“Doesn’t mean I have to stop watching,” Niall mumbled, stuffing his mouth with more popcorn.

“He’s a shit actor anyway,” Louis lied through his teeth as he got up to storm out of the room. He absolutely didn’t go to the bathroom to wipe at his eyes before they could betray him.

 

*

 

Harry finished his third set of push ups and laid right down on the floor.  The nervous energy continued to thrum through him.  It was like this every time he released new music, but this time it seemed like there was even more riding on it.  Then again, he was out now and this album felt even more personal and real to him than any other he’d put out before, so maybe there was.  Harry felt a bit like its success was a judgement on him as a person, not just his music.

Harry took a deep breath and flipped over to do one last set of crunches. Exercising usually helped the energy dissipate, helped him use his nerves for something settling and productive. It didn’t seem to be working this time.

Harry got up and paced the room before picking up his phone and changing the playlist from his cardio playlist to his meditation one. The opening to a song by Above & Beyond played and Harry could already feel something in him settle. He let the music wash over him as he stretched and breathed, his mind calming down from the whirlwind it had been for what felt like weeks now.

His album was out. Most of his interviews for radio and television were already recorded. He now had a short break from his own promo before Dunkirk started up, and for that he was heading back home to be seen with Louis while he filmed his own music video in London.

Thinking about Louis just made his mind begin to spiral again. Harry was so confused about him. He was an adult now who could easily admit they had hurt each other and it wasn’t just a one way thing. There was no way things could have fallen apart as quickly and horribly as they had without it being something both of them felt. Even so, Harry kept feeling like they might be able to get past it, finally work through everything and start to make progress so they could at least be in each other’s presence again without having to relive that pain and hurt and anger every time, but without fail the few steps of progress they made were always followed by even more steps back.

Ever since his Behind the Music film had been released, Jeff had been constantly texting him and telling him how great it was going over and how the most positive reactions had been coming through about both Harry and Louis. 

That was great news, of course, but it also changed things a bit. It meant that now, instead of everything being speculation about the relationship between the two of them, it was “fact”. It meant that Harry was getting asked in his interviews about Louis and his role as inspiration, and Harry found himself falling back on those feelings and experiences that he and Louis had created during the X Factor, and he really didn’t want to have to do that.

Harry got up and turned off his playlist before walking back to his bedroom. He’d been ignoring the conflicting feelings all of his reminiscing had been bringing up, but he really couldn’t anymore. Not when his own part was over for a bit and he’d be doing more hanging out as Louis was working now, which meant he’d have even more time to think.

Harry turned on the water in the shower before walking back out to his room to disrobe. All the thinking about the good times, and the rough times too, that he and Louis had been through during those early days made Harry remember just how good it really had been and how much he truly had loved Louis. He’d had boyfriends since, but none of them ever lasted and Harry had felt himself always comparing them to what he’d had with Louis.

“Fuck,” Harry murmured as he rubbed his palm against his eyes. He could not afford to catch feelings again or resurrect old ones when he was barely hanging onto his sanity with everything happening as it was. He still had a few shows here or there to appear on and then the heavy promo for Dunkirk started and then it was time to prepare for his tour, and that was before he even started thinking about everything he’d be doing with Louis as he prepared for the drop of his new single and everything that entailed. It was a lot and Harry was not prepared.

Harry gently padded back to the bathroom where the mirror was already a bit fogged up from the heat of the shower.  Perfect. He climbed in and felt the spray massage his back as his mind wandered.

When they were younger and everything in their futures still felt like a pipe dream, the only thing Harry wanted was what he had now: a chance to make music his own way while being completely himself, possibly a chance at acting, and Louis at his side. He’d just imagined he and Louis also sharing a bed, a house, and their dreams.

Harry thought back to the shoot for Louis’ teaser video his team was releasing for the new single that Harry still hadn’t heard a note of yet. That day had been really good...until it wasn’t.  It had started so well, and when their hands had linked climbing out of the car, Harry had thought maybe it could work.  Maybe they could fall back into step with each other and get somewhere.

Then Louis had frozen him out. He’d made the introductions and Harry had been chatting with some of the staff when Louis had gone and started ignoring him. Had he done something? He hadn’t thought so. Harry had been wanting to offer a truce to Louis, a chance for them to try to start fresh and leave all their anger and resentment behind them so they could just be and relax at least a little around each other, but even once the day was done and they’d headed back to the car, Louis hadn’t even given Harry a chance to say well done. 

Harry could possibly still offer that, but now he wasn’t sure Louis wanted it.

Harry rinsed the shampoo from his hair and squeezed on the conditioner. The best he could do at this point was just follow Louis’ lead. Harry would do his best to keep his temper in check and not say or do anything to purposely rile Louis up and see if he could keep the peace.

 

*

 

“Hey there, sleepy head.”

Harry clutched at his coffee and turned to find Louis standing there, smiling at him fondly. Was Harry still sleeping?

“Uh…” Harry wasn’t able to get anything else out, which apparently was fine because it made Louis laugh a bit more and come in for a hug. Harry mechanically wrapped his arms around Louis, having to lean down a bit more than he used to. He knew he’d grown, but the way their bodies fit together differently now still surprised him sometimes.

“God, I love you in the mornings,” Louis said before pulling back. “I’m glad you could make it.”

Harry cleared his throat and looked around. “Me too. I’m excited to finally hear some of your song.”

“You haven’t let your own long term boyfriend hear it yet?” 

Harry turned at the sound of a female voice that Harry didn’t recognize and saw a tiny blonde woman bouncing towards them. 

“That’s because I want it to be a surprise,” Louis said defensively. “Bebe, this is Harry.  Harry, this is Bebe.”

Bebe stuck her tongue out at Louis and then turned with a big smile to look at Harry. “I love your work, Harry. I’m actually kinda freaking out meeting you now.”

Louis squawked. “And you weren’t freaking out when you first met me?”

“Of course I was, babe. Of course. I just was able to hide it better over the phone than I apparently can in person.”

Harry laughed. “Well, it’s great to meet you too. Sorry, I’m a bit jetlagged. Just got back to London last night and I’m afraid I’m still on LA time.”

“That’s okay, I totally get that. I’ve been here a few days for other things so I think I’m finally adjusted myself,” Bebe said with a wide smile. Based on just the last few minutes, Harry already adored her.

Bebe was soon called away to do some of her own filming and Louis sidled up beside Harry to whisper in his ear.

“Sorry to catch you off guard, I knew she was watching so I wanted to make it all as boyfriend like and natural as possible.”

Harry wrapped an arm around Louis’ shoulders knowing people were still watching, and Louis easily slid his around Harry’s waist. The people who had been hired for the music video weren’t Louis’ usual crew and he could see Elena watching them like a hawk. People would definitely talk and share photos, so they were going to have to have their best faces showing the entire time.

“That’s okay,” Harry murmured as he kissed Louis’ head, hoping it wasn’t too much.  They’d been apart for a few days though, so he figured it made sense in that way. “Everyone’s gonna be on the lookout today, so it makes sense. I just wasn’t expecting it right from the get go.”

“Louis, it’s time for the circle track.”

Louis pulled away from Harry and gave a soft smile before walking away. Harry walked in the same direction Louis had just gone in and stood beside the camera. It looked like Louis and Bebe would stand back to back as they mouthed the words and a camera would run the track as they did so. Music began to play from the speakers, and Harry was instantly taken in.

It wasn’t over-produced, and it was upbeat although the words could have easily been a ballad. It was almost folksy but with a touch of electronic and drums and Harry wasn’t sure if this was the end product or if things were still being tweaked, but he couldn’t wait to hear more.

“Nobody knows you, baby, the way I do. And nobody loves you, baby, the way I do,” played on repeat, over and over as they continued to bounce against each other, mouthing along when their voices were playing. Once they’d got several takes, they moved on and began to repeat the next couple of lines. “It's been so long, it's been so long, maybe we’re fireproof, 'cause nobody saves me, baby, the way you do.”

Harry’s eyebrows furrowed. What was the inspiration for this song? It definitely had Louis’ signature lyrical quality to it, but it had such a feeling of hope, of confidence in a relationship. Harry couldn’t help but feel a little jealous of whoever had been able to show Louis how it felt to be that sure of what they had together.

Before Harry could fall completely into a pit of self pity he heard a voice in his ear that said, “Well, look what the cat dragged in.”

Harry whipped around, hand to his heart and saw none other than Lottie Tomlinson standing in front of him.

“Oh my God, Lottie!” Harry whispered before wrapping her up in a hug. He pulled back quickly, realizing she might not be so happy about their reunion as he was, but damn had he missed her. He’d missed all of Louis’ family. They had been so close and he’d loved them all, so losing them along with Louis had only added to the pain. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

She gave him a wry smile. Damn, she had grown up. “It’s okay. I know what’s going on and I’m ready to play along. Besides, I’ve missed you.”

Harry’s eyes prickled with tears and he didn’t even have an excuse other than yesterday had been a long day of traveling. “Yeah. Me too.”

Lottie motioned over her shoulder to a man who looked close to her age that was watching Harry in a way that made Harry feel like he didn’t trust him.

“This is my boyfriend, Tommy. Tommy, this is Harry. Obviously.”

Harry reached out a hand for a handshake, which Tommy gave before pulling him in for that manly one armed hug thing that Harry always abhorred. Just stick with a handshake or a hug, why try to combine the two?

“I figured a handshake would be weird if you and Louis really had been dating since you met, like the story is,” Tommy explained in his ear. 

Harry nodded and pulled back, smiling. “So what are you two doing here?”

“We’re gonna be in the video,” Tommy said with a wide grin. “Nothing big or long, but still.”

Lottie rolled her eyes. “He’s been nearly pissing himself with excitement ever since Lou asked. Ridiculous.”

Tommy swatted her gently on the arm before pulling her in closer to his side. “Just because you go and get interviewed in front of cameras all the time doesn’t mean I’m used to the same treatment.”

Harry laughed and smiled at them. He could already tell they were a good match.

Harry was able to hang out with Lottie and Tommy for the rest of the morning since their part wasn’t until after the lunch break.

“You guys are too fucking cute,” Bebe said as they were walking to where Elena told them Nando’s had already been brought in. “All four of you. It’s making me sick, actually.” 

She pretended to wretch into a bin they were passing and Harry laughed, Louis squeezing his hand in response.

“Shit, I mean look at you two. Louis has stars in his eyes when he looks at Harry, what is that?”

Harry stiffened and whipped his head to look at Louis, who had his head ducked and a light blush on his cheeks.

“Are you quite finished?” Louis snipped back, but with no real heat.

“No, but I’ll move along to these two,” Bebe said, motioning towards Lottie and Tommy. “Ah, young love!”

Harry couldn’t focus on the conversation after that. It sent his mind reeling with memories of the number of people who said similar things when he and Louis were still sneaking around, trying to keep their love and relationship quiet, but they always gave themselves away. It was just how they were. It seemed to be playing in their favor, though, if Bebe believed it too.

“Are you planning to tell her?” Harry asked, curious. He usually didn’t keep his PR relationships a secret from everyone around him, just those he knew would talk and the general public. He wasn’t sure about Louis’ ideas regarding them, though.

Louis shrugged. “I kinda saw her as a test, really. See if she could pick up on it and then tweak what we did wrong if she did.”

Harry nodded. “Yeah. Alright.”

All through lunch, Harry didn’t say much. He was too busy observing and soaking in being in Louis’ presence without them wanting to kill each other. As he watched him interact with Lottie, Tommy, Bebe, and whatever crew members came by, Harry was pleased. Louis was still Louis. He still laughed too loud and squinted his eyes when his smile was genuine. He’d kick his left foot out a little whenever he repositioned himself on the couch, which always used to annoy Harry but now he found it comforting.

They might have spent seven years apart and changed in massive ways, but underneath it all, Louis was still the same.

 

*

“Yeah, absolutely,” Louis nodded along with what his director was telling him. They’d just finished a diner scene for the music video and they were going to take break while everything was getting set up for the next part. He looked over to the booth his sister and her boyfriend were seated at, where Louis was with them for the video. Harry had slid into the booth and he was laughing with them in Louis’ absence. The sight caused something to tug in Louis’ belly, some ache for things long past.

When his director dismissed him, Louis walked over to join them, pushing into the seat next to Harry who moved easily to make room. “Who said you could start the party without me?” Louis asked, leaning into Harry’s side. It was far too easy to play the part of a loved up boyfriend. Especially when Harry put his arm up on the booth behind him, allowing him room to get closer.

Louis leaned over to whisper, “The camera is still on for behind the scenes stuff.”

Harry nodded, accepting the news with a painted on smile, and then leaned in to whisper into Louis’ ear, solely for the sake of showing their relationship off to the camera. “I have nothing to say, but I bet this looks good.”

Louis chuckled. Surprisingly, it was real. He glanced at Harry and saw those green eyes shining back at him, full of pride, and he felt so conflicted. He couldn’t tell when Harry was acting and when he wasn’t anymore, but Louis was having a difficult time hating him when he could manage to look so much like the Harry that he fell in love with. But then, he reminded himself of the way he lost that boy and turned away, giving his sister his smile instead.

“So, did you have fun?”

“I mean, we just sat here,” Tommy answered, sounding disappointed. “I reckon the fun part comes later, when the video comes out.”

“Aww, babe,” Lottie cooed, taking hold of his hand. “No one’s gonna notice us when they’ve got that gorgeous mug to look at.” She nodded at Louis, cracking a smile.

“Shush, you.” Louis rolled his eyes at her.

Tommy scoffed, “Are you kidding? Have you  _ met _ Louis’ fans? They notice  _ everything _ .”

A playful tickle war started on the other side of the booth, but it didn’t drown out the quiet “not everything” that Harry muttered to himself.

Louis looked at him and reached up to brush an eyelash off of Harry’s face. “Maybe that’s a good thing,” he muttered back, meeting Harry’s eyes meaningfully and holding out the eyelash for Harry to make a wish on and blow away.

“I don’t believe in wishes anymore,” Harry whispered, staring at the eyelash and making no move to blow it away.

“Yes, you do,” Louis argued, because he  _ knew _ Harry. Even when he wished he didn’t, he still knew this boy better than any other. But then he shrugged, “But if you don’t want it.”

He inhaled, preparing to take the wish for himself, and heard Harry inhale at the same time. Their eyes caught and Louis could see the spark of mischief in Harry’s as they both blew on the eyelash at the same time. It fluttered away and Louis had no idea which of them got the wish.

“So, what did I miss?” Bebe asked, surprising them all when she abruptly pulled up a chair. Louis wasn’t certain what to tell her. He wasn’t certain about anything at the moment.

“Just a bunch of love birds being love birds,” Lottie chirped, throwing Louis a sly wink when he glanced her way. Thank God for his sister.

*

Louis’ stomach was churning. He has a radio interview in a minute and he always got nervous about these things, afraid he’d say something wrong or come off like a twat. Even though it was just a phone interview, it was even worse this time because he knew they’d ask about Harry, and then they would play one of Harry’s songs since Louis’ isn’t quite out yet. He has been teasing it on Instagram for a while though, so they had  _ some _ material of his own to ask him about.

He took a deep breath, smiling when he heard himself being introduced even though there’s no one in his home to see it.

“Welcome to Rob and Leelah in the Morning, Louis Tomlinson!” The deejay enthused and Louis forced a laugh.

“Thank you, thank you,” he said, hoping his acting was up to par and his nerves weren’t showing.  “It’s lovely to be chatting with you fine folks this morning.”

“Same, Louis Tomlinson. Same,” a female voice chimed in. Louis assumed it was Leelah.

“Just call me Louis. I’m just regular people really,” he replied, bantering playfully.

“Regular people don’t put out Platinum albums, Louis,” Rob scolded in his deejay voice, sounding more silly than stern.

“Speaking of,” Leelah, jumped in and Louis would tell she was going to be the one to keep them on track.  _ “You _ have a new song coming out soon and I cannot  _ wait  _ to hear it. Especially with all the teasers you’ve been  _ killing me _ with.”

“Yeah, thank you. ‘Fireproof’ will be out really soon. I’m very excited about it.”

“Rumor has it, it’s a collaboration with another popular artist at the moment. Is this true?”

“Ehhh,” Louis hesitated for a reasonable beat. His own team leaked that he was collaborating with someone. He wasn’t supposed to spill the beans about who it was yet though, so he was supposed to play it off. Bebe would be teasing it from her own Instagram soon anyway. “I can neither confirm nor deny that.”

“Oooh, that’s a confirmation if ever I’ve heard one!” Leelah teased.

“Would it happen to be one Harry Styles that you’re working with? We’ve been hearing a lot of chatter about the two of you.” Rob prodded and Louis was glad he’s not actually in the studio, because he’s not sure what his face would be telling them right now. He should have been prepared for people to think he was collaborating with Harry. He was another popular artist, wasn’t he? And Louis has been seen with him all over the fucking place. He  _ should have _ been prepared, but he wasn’t.

He shook it off. He was live on the air here. He needed to get his shit together. “I’m very sorry to inform you that I am _not_ collaborating with the wonderful, very talented, and incredibly handsome Harry Styles.”

“Awww, you’re not giving us a duet with your sweetheart?” Leelah whined with a giggle and Louis was so grateful for her. She was picking up on all his cues and he hardly had to do any work here.

“Sorry, love,” Louis tried to sound remorseful, but mostly he was just relieved. They were talking about Harry now. Hopefully that meant that his time was almost up. “Besides, I’ve heard working with your other half can put a strain on the relationship. Probably best if we don’t.”

“Oh, yeah. Please don’t then,” Leelah laughed. “You two are too cute for that.”

Louis wished ‘cute’ had been enough to save them in the past. They’d had ‘cute’ in spades.

“Speaking of Harry Styles,” Rob interjected, drawing Louis from traitorous thoughts he shouldn’t be having. “Tell us the truth, what do you think of his album?”

“I think it’s genius,” Louis said without even having to think about it. For once, he wasn’t following a script. He loved Harry’s album, because it was basically the essence of Harry put to music. He was still hurt from their past, but, even though he didn’t want to be, he was so fucking proud of Harry’s album. At least, answering this question now, he could pretend it was part of the act. “He put his heart and soul into his album and I just think it’s so brave to be as honest as he’s been. It’s wonderful.”

“So cute!” Leelah squealed and Louis thought he quite liked her as he laughed at her reaction. He may have been wrong to think that she’d be the one to keep them on track. These two were obviously a good team.

“I’m being told we have to let you get back to your busy schedule, Louis. Thank you for joining us today,” Rob addressed him.

“It was my pleasure.”

“And as a parting gift, here’s ‘Sweet Creature’ by your sweetie Harry Styles!” Leelah added as the guitar faded in.

Louis hung up and took a breath, getting up to turn up his radio so that he could hear the song. He should have turned it off, but he didn’t. He listened with his eyes closed and envisioned a world where Harry actually did write this song for him. A minute into it, he was disturbed by his phone vibrating in his hand.

_ Very nice _ , he read. A text from Elena.

Louis rolled his eyes, turned off the radio, and walked away, leaving his fantasies in the dust. Where they belonged. 

 

*

 

Harry stared at his phone and read Jeff’s text again.

_ The director liked the footage of you sitting at the table with Louis, Lottie, and Tommy so much he’s gonna include it in the video _

No. No no  _ no. _ Harry was not going to allow that to happen. The behind the scenes shit was one thing, but the actual video itself was another. Harry immediately pulled up Jeff’s contact and hit dial.

“What, Harry? This is perfect. I really wasn’t expecting you to push back against it, but I know that if you’re calling it’s because you don’t like the idea.”

“Bloody right I don’t like the idea!” Harry said with barely contained rage. He was so fired up it was all he could do not to yell into the phone. “This is a fucking PR relationship, Jeffrey. I’m not going to encroach on his  _ actual career _ as well!”

“It’s kind of too late for that, Harry,” Jeff shot back, irritation easily heard in his voice. “If you haven’t noticed, your careers, both of them, have already been encroached on! Where the hell do you even come up with these words. You didn’t even officially finish sixth form, God.”

“I enjoy reading and am not an animal, so yeah. I have a fucking fantastic vocabulary, thank you. But that’s beside the point.” Harry paused and rubbed his hand over his eyes. This was not how he wanted to start his day. He took a breath before he finally continued. “There are lines that I refuse to cross, Jeff. You know this. One of them is actually appearing in or having my name be included in Louis’, or any fake relationship’s, actual work. It isn’t fair to Louis for me to appear in something that will be associated with him forever when it comes to his actual art and it isn’t fair for me either! Fucking hell, Jeff! You had to have known I wouldn’t be okay with this!”

Jeff was silent and Harry laid his forehead on the cool surface of the counter. 

“Listen,” Jeff said, steely tone coming through in the way it did when he wasn’t backing down and he knew he’d get his way. It usually only happened when Harry had strayed too far into diva territory, but apparently he felt this situation also required it. “I know you don’t think I give a flying fuck what you think when it comes to this, but I do. I respect you and your wishes, Harry, but what it comes down to is you two have chemistry. Chemistry sells. Chemistry gets attention. You fucking need attention and support and sales right now, because in case you hadn’t noticed, you just released your first solo album and single since you came out. In about a week, you start promotion rounds for your very first acting opportunity in a fucking war drama by  _ THE _ Chris Nolan and then you fucking go on to kick off a sold out tour so excuse me if you think this crosses your boundaries you set back when you were eighteen but this is a bigger ballpark than you’ve ever played in before!”

Harry was shaking in frustration and felt like a scolded child, but it didn’t change how he felt about the scene being included. 

“It isn’t fair to him, Jeff,” Harry whispered. The fight had left him, but God. Louis deserved better than this. “He deserves to have his career exactly how he wants it without me having to take any of the spotlight away from him.”

Jeff didn’t answer for a bit. Harry listened to him breathe as he pulled out his laptop so he could find Louis’ earlier interview. Jeff had also texted earlier to say he sent Harry a link, but Harry had ignored it at the time to focus on this issue.

“Business isn’t fair, kid.” They both stayed silent since Harry didn’t really have a response. He opened his email and hovered over the link, ready to click it as soon as his conversation with Jeff was done. “Listen. The scene’s going in. I’m sorry. Just listen to Louis’ interview and we’ll go over what you have scheduled next week so you know travel plans. Alright?”

“Yeah. Alright.”

They hung up and Harry clicked the link just in time to hear the deejays welcoming Louis onto the show. Louis sounded tired, but Harry could hear the smile in his voice. God, Harry was seriously getting too far into this if he was feeling soothed at knowing Louis had been smiling when he did this.

The interview was just like almost every interview done with radio stations. A bit of teasing, a bit of banter, and some forced laughter. Harry wasn’t expecting to be mentioned until the very end, but when they started talking about potential collaborators for Louis’ song, they mentioned Harry’s name.

“I’m very sorry to inform that I am _not_ collaborating with the wonderful, very talented, and incredibly handsome Harry Styles.” Louis’ voice rang out of the laptop speakers and Harry felt warm. Louis was probably just saying those kind things about Harry because he was selling the relationship, but it still felt amazing to hear him say it.

“Awww, you’re not giving us a duet with your sweetheart?” the woman, Leanne or something, teased and Harry almost gagged. He was fine with sap and cheese, but she was playing it a bit more than Harry liked. 

“Sorry, love. Besides, I’ve heard working with your other half can put a strain on the relationship. Probably best if we don’t.”

Harry snorted. Yeah. Probably best. 

“Speaking of Harry Styles,” the male interviewer said, and Harry’s heart froze. Weren’t those mentions enough? Were they really going to push Louis into talking about Harry more when they should be focusing on his music? It wasn’t released yet, but he could still talk about his inspirations and the writing process. Harry closed his eyes and tapped his fingers on the counter as the seconds dragged on to Harry before the man continued. “Tell us the truth, what do you think of his album?”

Okay. Technically that felt like a fair question, because mutual promo was kind of the game they were playing. Fuck, why was Harry so worked up about this? Was it because of the fight they’d had awhile back now where Louis had said Harry was the only one benefitting from the relationship? It was obvious now that it wasn’t the case, but why else would Harry be so worked up over everything going on with regards to Louis’ career?

“I think it’s genius,” Louis said. Wait. What? He hadn’t even paused when he said that. Was he just spewing lies because he was prepared? He always had been good at manipulating the truth when he needed to. He was an excellent businessman when he needed to be. Louis continued and said, “He put his heart and soul into his album and I just think it’s so brave to be as honest as he’s been. It’s wonderful.”

Harry didn’t hear the rest of the interview, which was fine. It seemed like it was a quick wrap up before they closed out with  _ Sweet Creature.  _

Did Louis really feel that way about his album? Harry wasn’t even sure that Louis had listened to the entire thing, so it could just be a fabrication. Louis didn’t sound tense at all when he said it, though, and he always tensed up when he had to say something he didn’t agree with. Harry was incredibly tempted to pick up his phone and send a text to Louis asking if he was serious. 

For the second time that morning, Harry rested his head on the counter. “What the hell is wrong with me?” he whined to his empty flat. Why was Louis and his thoughts and opinions and career and just bloody  _ everything _ consuming so much of Harry? They were not together. Not really. Harry couldn’t afford to let himself fall into the trap of thinking how they fell apart all those years ago was a mistake that could be righted now. That was just a recipe for more heartache and Harry had to spare himself that, at least.

Harry finally convinced himself not to text Louis about whether he was serious about what he’d said about Harry’s album. He did, however, want to make sure there was no misunderstanding about the fucking scene for the music video. Harry hoped he would know Harry had nothing to do with it being included, but he needed it to be absolutely clear so they didn’t suffer a misstep again.

_ I’m sorry about being included in the MV for Fireproof. I tried talking to Jeff about it, but it didn’t change anything. _

Harry threw his phone down and closed his laptop. He needed coffee before he called Jeff back to talk about his schedule anyway. He had just grabbed his phone to relocate to his living room couch when his phone buzzed with a response from Louis.

_ It’s alright. _

Harry wasn’t sure whether he meant it or not, but it was the best he could ask for, he supposed. Hopefully that would be enough to get Louis out of his mind so he could focus on his actual work now.

 

*

 

Louis was fine with Harry being in his music video. Absolutely  _ fine _ . He had seen the footage and actually commented on it in front of Elena and his director.  _ He _ was the reason it was going in. It fit the song better to have two couples in love sitting at the booth in that café than it did to have just Louis there with his sister and Tommy. It made sense. And they looked good together,  _ intimate _ . It made Louis’ stomach hurt to see just how intimate but it worked for the video. Louis had made peace with the fact that he’d never be able to watch it again if he didn’t want his heart to start a riot.

He really appreciated the fact that Harry had reached out, that he thought some higher up was doing Louis a disservice and tried to fight it. It meant a lot to him. So, it was really difficult to keep his mouth shut when Harry apologized in person on their way to the first of Harry’s Dunkirk promo interviews.

“I’m really sorry, Lou,” he said, eyes sad and imploring Louis to forgive him. “I know it’s not fair.”

“Harry, I already told you, it’s alright,” Louis answered, ignoring the nickname that slipped so easily from Harry’s lips. “It fits the song.”

“I still haven’t been able to hear the whole thing,” Harry murmured, looking disappointed.

“Doesn’t matter.” Louis shrugged, looking out the car window. Truthfully, he was grateful that Harry hadn’t heard it yet in its entirety. What would he think if he heard Louis’ words? He needed a subject change or something. “Are you excited about Dunkirk promo?”

Harry turned to study his face, maybe to see if he was really interested in the answer. When Louis gave him an expectant look, he let his lips turn up into the tiniest smile. “A bit. I made some really good friends working on the film. Fionn Whitehead and Aneurin Barnard especially, it’ll be nice to see them again.”

“That’s great, Harry,” Louis said quietly, enjoying the glow of happiness on Harry’s cheeks. It was a much better look on him than unearned guilt.

“I’m sorry,” Harry said once again, making Louis think for a second that the change of topic was for naught. “I know this will probably be boring for you, waiting around while I get interviewed all day.”

“Hey, I’m nothing if not a devoted boyfriend,” Louis joked with a smirk. It was perhaps not the best idea though because Harry’s face fell a little in the face of it. Louis sighed, “It’s fine, Harry. It’s not like you haven’t waited around for me before.”

“Not all day, I haven’t. Not like this,” Harry argued.

“I’ll occupy myself somehow. Eat from the craft services table, play around on my phone, make fun of you to the film crew,” He grinned when Harry swatted at his arm with a scoff.

“I know you will,” Harry agreed with a grin.

It felt good being playful, not having the burn of anger or disappointment between them. Harry carried that attitude with him the rest of the afternoon, introducing Louis to his friends and co-stars when they arrived at the location of all of their interviews for the day. He’d kissed Louis on the cheek unbidden and pranced off to his seat for the day, leaving Louis feeling like the ground was shifting beneath his feet as he watched Harry go.

Then, in the interviews he’d been funny and flirty. Not with the interviewers who were mostly women but with his co-stars. Fionn got the majority of Harry’s playful banter and unnecessary touching and Louis got the sting of jealousy every fucking time. He tried to ward it off. He had no right to actually be jealous. Harry could flirt with or hold hands with or even fuck whoever he wanted as long as it didn’t get in the way of Louis’ promo.  So why did it make him see red every time Harry’s hand so much as grazed Fionn’s?

Louis took the first chance he got, a short break for the stars of the film from all the questions, to interrupt the friends with a plate of food for Harry.

“What’s this?” Harry said, voice full of faux disbelief.

“What?” Louis shrugged indifferently. “I’m a provider.”

“ _ That you are _ ,” Harry joked back with a leer and Fionn burst out laughing beside him.

“You two are too much,” Fionn announced, still laughing as he let Aneurin lead him away to do something or other, Louis didn’t much care what.

Louis wrinkled his nose in distaste at Fionn’s back and resisted the urge to flip him the finger as well. He hadn’t  _ technically _ done anything wrong. Louis just didn’t like him was all.

“What’s that face for?” Harry asked, watching him doubtfully as he picked at his food.

“Nothing,” Louis lied, clearing his features of all negative emotion. Harry wasn’t letting him get away with it though.

“No, I  _ know _ that face.” His jaw dropped and he leaned closer to Louis to whisper in incredulity, “ _ You’re jealous _ .”

Louis scoffed with a roll of his eyes. “Am not.”

“Yes,” Harry laughed. “You are.”

“No,” Louis said, steel in his tone and ice in his eyes. “I’m not.”

Harry licked his lips and Louis hated himself for the way his eyes flicked down to trace the movement. “Fine, you’re not,” Harry conceded, though his smile made it obvious that he didn’t believe it.

For the rest of the interviews Harry was extra touchy-feely with Fionn, staring over at Louis often to check his reaction and smirking when Louis apparently wasn’t doing a good enough job of hiding his jealousy. By the end of the day, Louis was so done with him.

Harry kept that damn smirk on his face the whole way back to drop Louis off at home. Before he got out of the car he threw one last glance over his shoulder. Harry was staring back, biting his bottom lip and, god, he looked delectable. Louis closed his eyes on the sight and finished climbing out of the car, slamming the door behind him.

*

“And here with us today, we have Louis Tomlinson!” Nick Grimshaw cheered into his microphone. “Big day tomorrow. Right, Tommo?”

“Yeah, yeah. Big day,” Louis grinned, leaning towards his own mic. He was so freaking excited, he could hardly keep his hands still so he grabbed onto his Starbucks coffee and held it close. “I’ve got a new single coming out tomorrow.”

“Fireproof, yes?” Nick prodded. Honestly, Nick was usually a bit too peppy in the morning for Louis’ taste but today Louis was right there with him.

“Fireproof, yes!” Louis nodded taking a sip of his coffee. “I can’t wait.”

“Neither can I. Neither can your  _ fans _ . We actually have a few phone calls from some of your biggest fans, if you’re awake enough to respond to them,” Nick told him with a huge smile. Louis had the feeling this was one of those games Nick liked to play sometimes where the callers weren’t  _ really _ fans. Louis was up for anything today though, so he went with it.

“Yeah, I’ve got my coffee right here,” Louis answered, holding up the cup in question. “I’m wide awake. Let’s go!”

“Let’s go, then!” Nick said right back, pressing a button. “Hi, you’re on the Radio One Breakfast Show. Did you have something to say to Louis this morning?”

“ _ Yeah, hi. My name is Charlotte and I’d just like to say, I’m really freaking proud of my big brother. _ ”

“Aww, Lotts,” Louis felt a little like he might cry. He was expecting Niall, or someone else who was going to bust his balls. He wasn’t expecting this.

“Who’s your big brother?” Nick asked, laughing at his own joke.

“ _ You think you’re funny, Grimshaw _ ,” Lottie replied wryly.

“I think I’m hilarious,” Nick agreed, preening for the cameras that were filming the interview for the BBC Radio One Website.

“Thank you, Lottie,” Louis replied, sticking his tongue out at Nick. “You’re the best.”

“ _ Ooh, Fizz and the twins are gonna get you for that. _ ”

“Well, I don’t hear  _ them _ calling me up on the radio to say how proud of me they are,” Louis shrugged.

“Well, you don’t know who else we’ve got for you, Tommo. You might be eating those words,” Nick said. “Thank you, Charlotte. Goodbye!” He cheerfully hung up on Louis’ sister and pressed another button. “Hi, you’re on the air. What have you got to say to Louis this morning?”

“ _ Ahhhhh! Louis, oh Louis. Marry me! _ ” A voice feigning a high pitch rang out in the room.

Louis laughed into his coffee. This was more what he was expecting. “Go back to bed, Niall.”

“ _ Not until you agree to marry me and give me all your babies. _ ”

“Who is this, Louis?” Nick asked, laughing, though he’d arranged it so he had to know.

“This is Niall Horan, the idiot I call me best mate,” Louis explained for the people at home who weren’t aware.

“ _ Seriously, though. Proud of you, mate. Now, I’m going to take your advice and go back to sleep. It’s too early in the morning for this _ .”

“Thanks, Niall,” Louis said into his microphone, the smile on his face stretched to its limits.

“Thanks, Niall!” Nick echoed, hanging up on him too. “I think we’ve got one more if you’re still up for it.”

“Sure, why wouldn’t I be?” Louis asked jovially, wondering who else he would hear as Nick pressed the final button.

“Hi, You’re on the Radio One Breakfast Show. What’s your message for Louis Tomlinson?”

“ _ Hi, Louis, good morning _ ,” Harry’s sleepy voice filled the room.

Louis could feel the way his smile softened. It wasn’t an active choice. He wasn’t doing it for the cameras. It was that sleepy tone, the deep, scratchy gravel of Harry’s voice first thing in the morning. All those memories came flooding back. “Hi, babe,” he replied, just barely remembering he needed to.

“ _ Good morning, Nick _ ,” Harry added and Louis rolled his eyes fondly at Harry’s inability to possibly be even the slightest bit rude.

“Good morning, my good friend Harry Styles!” Nick chirped. “How are you today?”

“ _ I’m a bit disgruntled to be honest _ ,” Harry answered and Louis could practically hear the pout he was probably wearing.

“Disgruntled? Nice vocabulary word, Harold,” Nick poked fun. “What are you disgruntled about?”

“ _ I don’t get to see my boyfriend this morning because you’re monopolizing him, Nick _ .”

God, that should not have caused the storm of flurries that it did in Louis’ chest. Harry was  _ acting _ . Louis knew that. He seriously needed to get a grip.

“Aww, is Harold jealous?” Nick asked playfully, looking far too gleeful.

“ _ Yes, I am _ ,” Harry admitted easily. “ _ I mean, not as jealous as Louis was yesterday _ .”

Louis squawked, not expecting the tables to be turned on him. “I already told you, I was  _ not _ jealous.”

“Oooh, things are heating up,” Nick murmured into his mic, like he was ready to give a play by play to the people listening at home.

“ _ You glared every time I had an interview with Fionn _ ,” Harry chuckled.

“Well, maybe if you could keep your hands to yourself,” Louis glowered, not realizing what he’d said until it was too late.

“ _ So you admit you were jealous _ ?” Harry teased. Smug bastard.

“Aren’t you supposed to be calling to say something nice to me?”  Louis questioned, anything to get them off the damning topic of his jealousy.

“I never said it had to be nice,” Nick shrugged with a smirk.

“ _ Alright, I did call to say something nice,” _ Harry admits, giving up the teasing much to Louis’ relief. “ _ I am really proud of you, Lou. We’ve both come a long way from where we started, and I’ve always envied you your ability to craft these amazing stories using so many emotions in just a few words. You’re amazing. And I can’t wait for your song to drop tomorrow so that the whole world can see that all over again _ .”

“ _ Harry _ ,” Louis felt like he’d lost his breath. He knew Harry had probably ended on the show for PR reasons but he’d sounded utterly sincere in his compliments to Louis. Louis didn’t know what to believe. All he knew was the way Harry’s words made him feel. “That means a lot. Thank you, babe.”

“Thank you, Harold!” Nick says, right on Louis’ heels even though Louis has so much more that he wants to say. It’s just as well, he probably shouldn’t be saying them anyway. Especially not live on the radio. Nick Grimshaw probably just saved him a lot of embarrassment.

 

*

 

It was the second day in a row that Harry was up at the crack of dawn, his laptop streaming Radio 1, all because of Louis. Okay, so he woke up at 7:30 for the second day in a row, Harry was allowed his dramatics occasionally. He really was excited to hear Louis’ new song today though. Finally.

He sat at his kitchen table, clutching his coffee in his nervous hands and his legs bouncing nonstop.

When had he become that guy? Why was he nervous? It wasn’t like he was releasing music himself. Louis was the one who should be anxiously pacing his flat as he bit his nails and chugged his third cup of coffee before eight in the morning.

Maybe that was his problem. The coffee. He was definitely overdoing it. That and he’d been slacking on his workout routine with promo going crazy. 

As Nick regaled listeners with his version of happenings around London and the rest of the UK, Harry’s mind wandered back to yesterday morning. The banter had been great, though he was quite exhausted. It had felt natural and flirtatious, especially when they got on the subject of jealousy.

Fuck. Louis really had been  _ so _ jealous. Harry was never going to let that go. It had been ages since he’d seen Louis like that and he’d nearly forgotten how possessive Louis could be. That had been one of his favorite parts of being with Louis when they were young. Knowing Louis wanted him as much as Harry needed to be wanted.

Until he wasn’t.

God, what were they doing? It was all just acting, wasn’t it? It had been at the beginning. It had hardly been that. The tension and derision had filled the room every time they were forced to be together, but now it was almost back to feeling like it had in the beginning before everything fell apart for them. Before they’d been propelled to where they were now.

The biggest problem for Harry was that when he’d said what he had about Louis yesterday morning, he hadn’t been acting. It was the first time he’d truly opened himself since this entire thing started, and he was scared he’d get burned. He was so used to curling himself up and keeping his armor up at all costs that now he had no way of knowing what to do. He’d let down that armor and shown his vulnerability, even just a small bit, and he wasn’t sure what Louis would do about it.

“I know what so many of you are looking forward to this morning,” Nick’s voice proclaimed from Harry’s laptop. Harry’s mind paused it’s downward spiral of inner turmoil to see if it was finally time for Louis’ song. “Me too, if I’m being honest. I was sworn to secrecy over this song for the longest time and now it can finally be revealed to the world. That’s right, Louis Tomlinson’s newest single, a collaboration with Bebe Rexha that will absolutely slay the charts,  _ Fireproof!” _

Harry sat completely still for the first time in twenty-four hours as he took in Louis’ voice singing about losing his mind. When the verse switched to Bebe’s voice, it became a beautiful back and forth filled with hope, sincerity, and determination that had Harry tearing up.  _ ‘Cause nobody saves me, baby, the way you do _ rang in Harry’s ears and he began to fall apart.

There was no way Louis wrote this for him, but it felt so very much like everything he and Louis had promised each other back when they were still together. The almost naive conviction that they’d be fireproof filled the song and left Harry feeling scared.

Had Louis and Bebe written this based on Louis’ experience with Harry? Was it all hypothetical? Was it something Bebe herself felt? Harry still wasn’t clear how the songwriting portion of this went and considering Louis was so determined to not let Harry hear the entire song until now left Harry even more confused.

Was this a goodbye? Was this Louis proclaiming how he felt about someone else? Or was this Louis opening himself up as well and saying he thought possibly, just maybe, he and Harry could give it a try and make it through it all this time? Which option did Harry actually hope it would be?

Harry slammed his laptop shut as soon as the song finished. He wanted to text Louis, he had planned to in order to give him his impressions and support, but he was too overwhelmed. What if he accidentally said something wrong? What if he gave Louis too much insight into how he was feeling and Louis got scared? Fuck it, Harry didn’t even know what he was feeling himself. There was no way he wanted Louis to see him like this or even get a whiff of it until Harry was pulled back together again.

Harry needed to do some meditation and figure himself out so he could then know how he should handle the entire situation. He just hoped he wasn’t in too deep to get out this time.

 

*

 

Harry sat between Fionn and Jack as they crowded in for a group interview with yet another morning show. At this point, Harry couldn’t remember the show or how many times they’ve answered the same questions. He was just happy his companions were fun to be around, especially since Louis was constantly busy with his own promo tour in support of  _ Fireproof. _

The last few weeks had been filled with back and forth jabs via very public interviews, mostly about their jealousy. It had all started when they’d messed about on the Breakfast Show and hadn’t really stopped. Every interview Harry had, someone brought up Louis and the questions somehow turned to how jealous he was of Fionn.

“Honestly, I think Jack’s the one he should be jealous of,” Fionn argued.

Harry laughed and looked at the interviewer for the morning, Marie. “I’m not man enough to handle Jack, I’m afraid,” Harry teased.

Jack waggled his eyebrows and leaned into Harry. “Oh, I’m not so sure about that.”

The interviewer moved from Harry’s personal life and back to topics actually relevant to the film, thank goodness. Harry was quite relieved that other than very brief questions, for the most part the interviewers were remaining professional and on topic, unlike how interviews usually were when he was promoting his music.

Once the cameras were off and thank yous were said, Jeff walked up with a smirk.

“What?” Harry asked. Whenever Jeff had that look about him, he knew something was going on. He wasn’t very sure he was going to like it.

Jeff handed Harry his phone, and Harry saw a message from Louis.

_ I’m not jealous, you twat. Especially not of that wannabe ginger Scotsman. _

Harry burst out laughing, causing Fionn and Jack to look at him in curiosity. Harry opened the text window so Jack could read it clearly, and his reaction was worth it.

“Wannabe ginger?” Jack squawked. “You better warn your boy, Styles.” He narrowed his eyes and pointed at Harry. 

“Yeah, I’ll let him know to be very fearful of your retaliation,” Harry said with a chuckle.

“Please do,” Jack said, allowing a smile to come through. “Alright, lads. I’m off.”

They all said their goodbyes and went in their various directions.

“I’m glad that you and Louis worked through whatever made you so miserable when this all started,” Jeff said once they were in the car.

Harry rolled his eyes. “We haven’t worked through anything, Jeff.” 

They hadn’t really. They’d just forged some unspoken truce. Harry sometimes felt like maybe it was more, maybe something really had changed between the two of them, but then he remembered how he’d felt right before Louis broke it off all those years ago. Harry never saw it coming. He couldn’t let himself fall into something with Louis where he got hurt again. 

“Sure, Harry. I see how your eyes light up every time he texts or even looks your way.” Jeff shook his head, smile still in place. “Hell, you turn into a pile of goo when interviewers so much as mention his name.”

“I do not!” Harry cried out, probably too loud for the car they were riding in. But he really couldn’t have himself falling into this kind of emotional connection with Louis if he could help it. This was a contract, and he was sure that Louis didn’t see him as anything more than that anymore. The fact they were able to be friends now was the most that he could ask for. Right?

“Keep telling yourself that,” Jeff said with a chuckle before going back to his phone. “You ready for your next interview?”

Harry went through the motions with Jeff, but he did more self reflection than he did paying attention to Jeff, and looking back he realized exactly what he’d feared when he first heard  _ Fireproof,  _ when he’d first learned they were going to be working together again, had happened. The armor he’d put up to protect himself and save him further heartbreak at the hands of Louis Tomlinson had failed.

Harry was falling back in love with Louis. 

 

*

Louis rolled his eyes and looked away, biting down on an annoyed smile as Harry purposely started flirting with his co-stars again. It had been a little while since Louis had been with Harry for Dunkirk promo because he’d been off doing his own for his new single, but he was back for this afternoon and then tonight, Harry would be going with him to his taping of Graham Norton. There, he was going to sing “Fireproof” with Bebe live. He was excited and restless, waiting around while Harry answered more and more questions, a lot of them the same as all the interviews that came before.

He was also watching the clock because the music video for “Fireproof” was dropping today and he was both excited about it and nervous for what would happen when Harry saw it.

Louis pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked the time. Five minutes. His video was going to drop in  _ five minutes _ . He took a deep breath and put the phone away, looking up to see Harry heading in his direction. He looked serious, like he was nervous too as he asked, “Is it time?”

“Almost,” Louis answered, biting his thumb nail. “Few minutes,” he added, teeth still digging into the nail.

Harry reached out and drew his hand away from his mouth. Louis didn’t think anything of the move at first. It didn’t occur to him until after Harry’s lips pressed to the back of his hand that this wasn’t natural anymore. Or it shouldn’t have been. But Harry didn’t even seem to notice he’d done it until Louis shyly pulled his hand free.

“Oh,” Harry said quietly between them, looking away awkwardly. “Sorry. Old habit.”

“It’s alright,” Louis told him with a little shrug of his shoulders. He pulled his phone out again so that he’d have something other than Harry’s downcast face to look at. One minute. He told Harry as much and Harry pulled out his phone too, in preparation.

As soon as the link was sent to Louis, he tweeted it out the way he was meant to. By the time he was done with that, Harry had already brought it up on his phone. Louis could hear the music, tinny and small on his phone speakers. He must have turned the volume on low so as not to disturb anyone else. 

Louis’ hands fell to his sides, phone still clutched in one as he stepped up beside Harry and watched the video play out on the tiny screen in his hands. He could feel Harry tense up beside him as the scene of the two of them together played out before their eyes. Their conversation over something as silly as an eyelash fraught with tension that screamed of intimacy they hadn’t actually had in a long time. Or maybe things like that never completely went away with an ex-lover. Or maybe Louis had never completely believed in the ‘ex’ part of that statement, maybe his heart had never given up on Harry, on  _ them _ .

Harry watched the video through to the end before slowly lowering his phone. “I get it,” he said, swallowing hard and not looking at Louis. “It’s still not fair, putting me in your video, but I get why they did. It fits, goes well with the song. Makes us look… real.”

“ _ I _ thought so,” Louis mused, longing to reach out, just to touch Harry’s shoulder, maybe make him turn around, but forcing himself not to do any of it. “That’s why I—” He cut himself off, realizing what he was about to admit.

“ _ You _ ?” Harry turned, a million questions in his eyes but only one mattered. The one Louis most wanted to avoid. “You what, Louis?”

“I—” Louis didn’t know how to answer.

“ _ You _ put the scene in?” Harry asked, stepping closer. Too close. Louis felt weak having him so near.

“It…,” he trailed off.  _ It fits the song _ . How many times had he said that? Thought it? How long had he been lying to himself? “It belongs there,” he said instead.  _ You belong there _ . Louis looked down, unable to take whatever thoughts Harry had written on his face at Louis’ statement.

“Louis.” Harry’s voice cracked causing Louis to look up on instinct to check on him. He looked fine physically, but it was clear his emotions were running high. “Where did this song come from?”

“I wrote it.” Louis’ brow creased in his confusion, unsure whether Harry was making an accusation of some kind with the question.

“When?”

“Right before we—” He couldn’t finish that sentence but it was too late anyway. Harry had heard what he’d almost said.

“But that makes  _ no sense _ ,” Harry told him desperately. “This song, it’s about not giving up, Louis. And you-,” he swallowed harshly, taking a breath to calm down a bit before continuing. “You gave up on us.”

Louis was already shaking his head in disbelief. “No.  _ You _ gave up on us first. I knew that we had it rough, but I was prepared to stick it out through anything for you. I wrote ‘Fireproof’ to  _ tell you that _ . But then you agreed to take on another fucking beard, Harry.”

Harry’s fists were clenched and Louis could tell that he wanted to interrupt but Louis wasn’t going to give him the chance.

“I already had a beard I couldn’t fucking get rid of. And then you put another one between us.”

Harry looked around as Louis’ voice rose in anger, seeing all eyes in the room turning toward them. He grabbed Louis’ arm, holding tight when Louis tried to pull away at first. “Relax,” Harry told him through clenched teeth. “We need to move this elsewhere.”

Louis glanced to the far side of the room, meeting the stares of Harry’s co-stars and gave in with no more objections, letting Harry pull him from the room.

“I didn’t give up on us,” Harry announced, stopping them in the hallway and rounding on him with such ferocity that Louis almost took a step back. Instead, he narrowed his eyes and took a step forward.

“Like  _ hell _ you didn’t.”

“Louis,” Harry sighed running a hand through his hair and looking like he’d like to pull it out. “I did that for  _ us _ .”

“How was agreeing to have a-”

“They told me they’d  _ let me come out _ ! If I did this one last PR relationship, they said they’d fast track the seeding process so that I could come out with you.”

Louis stopped breathing. Stopped blinking. Stopped everything. Harry had done it for them?

“You-.”

“ _ Yes, Louis _ . God, I was so in love with you. I just wanted to be with you and you broke my heart. And  _ now _ ,” Harry turned away, wiping the tears that Louis just saw pooling in his eyes. “ _ Fuck _ .”

“Harry, I. I’m  _ so  _ sorry,” Louis pulled at his own hair, so angry at himself. “I’m such an idiot.  _ Why  _ can I never just talk about my feelings? God, all that time we could have been together.”

“Did you want to be?” Harry asked quietly, still facing away from him.

“Be what? With you?” Louis asked, putting a hand on Harry’s shoulder, trying to gently urge him to turn around. Instead Harry placed his hand on top of Louis’, a silent plea for reassurance. “Of course, I did.” He could stop there. And maybe he should, but that felt like a mistake, and Louis had made enough mistakes when it came to Harry. “I never stopped wanting that.”

That was what made Harry spin to face him. “Yeah?” He asked, a hope in his eyes that Louis had not dared dream of seeing again. At his nod, Harry crowded into him. “Me neither, Lou. Never stopped wanting you. Not for a second.”

“Then let’s not waste a second more,” Louis managed to breathe, just before Harry’s lips crashed into his own.

 

*

 

Harry still couldn’t quite believe what was happening. Was it a possibility that today was all part of a very detailed dream? A dream in which Louis’ scruff was scratching him as he nipped at Harry’s neck in the back of a car that was taking them from where Harry just finished some Dunkirk interviews to where Graham Norton was being filmed for Louis’ turn at promo?

Oh God, Louis had had scruff at eighteen, but nothing quite like the trimmed facial he wore now. Harry had barely allowed himself to entertain the thought that he might get to experience the delicious burn caused by Louis’ rough cheeks and chin, but it was definitely happening now, and it was everything he had imagined.

“Lou,” Harry groaned as Louis sucked at his neck. “That’s gonna show, no lovebites.”

Louis had one hand in Harry’s hair, gripping the short locks tight, just the way Harry liked it, and the other was tightening on Harry’s upper thigh. He had to know what he was doing to Harry, and they were almost at the studio where Graham Norton was filmed.

Louis pulled back and licked at the skin. “You taste so good. I missed your taste so much.”

“Fuck, I’ve gotta be able to be seen with you, you know?” Harry tried to keep control of himself, but it wasn’t working very well. 

“I’m just trying to make up for lost time.” Louis finally pulled back enough that Harry was able to see his face, and his eyes were shining brighter than he’d seen them since they started this whole thing. He also looked like he wanted to devour Harry whole, and as much as Harry wanted that, there were things they needed to discuss first.

“Yeah,” Harry agreed. He paused and cleared his throat, knowing Louis could tell he had more to say. “I don’t want to get too serious when we have a lot that still needs to happen today, but we have to talk before we go much further. You know that, right? We can’t just ignore everything and assume it’s going to work out or  _ not _ work out like we did before.”

Louis’ smile softened from the sassy smirk he had been wearing into a small, fond grin. “Yeah. I know. And we will. Tonight. I promise.”

Harry smiled and leaned in to give Louis another kiss when the driver cleared his throat.

“We’re here, Mr. Tomlison.”

“Thanks, Algot,” Louis said as he looked down at himself. He was rather disheveled, and Harry was sure he didn’t look much better. They definitely needed to pull themselves together a bit before going into the studio.

They both shuffled around in the seat, making sure their shirts were tucked in before turning to each other and helping groom the other’s hair so it looked somewhat decent.

“Look decent?” Louis asked as he swiped at his fringe.

Harry smiled. “Always.”

Louis rolled his eyes and climbed out of the car. “Come on, Styles. I’ve got Britain to woo with the words I wrote for you.”

 

*

 

“I know you two are used to red carpets, but this one is a bit different from what you’ve been to before, so let me go over the basics once more of how this is going to work.” 

Harry stared at Jeff as he reiterated everything he’d already told Harry and Louis before they left. And last night at their brief meeting going over the blacklisted topics and interview prep. And about seventy other times during the rest of the week. Okay, Harry might have been slightly zoning out because he was trying to not throw up out of nerves. 

Harry hadn’t even realized he’d been tapping his feet and picking at the fabric of his trousers until Louis reached over and wrapped his hand around Harry’s. Harry’s entire body seemed to relax at his touch. How was he able to do that? They’d only been back together for maybe two weeks, Harry wasn’t really keeping track at this point and he could hardly keep track of what day it was, but Louis had come in and helped Harry so he calmed down to the point where he could breathe normally for the first time possibly all day.

Louis had always been able to do that before. His physical touch had a way to make Harry feel like everything would be okay, no matter the situation. He had been worried, with all the hurt and the years that had passed in between. Maybe that effect Louis used to have on Harry had been something lost to the ether of time. But as soon as they’d had their emotional and difficult as fuck conversation going over everything that had happened between them, it was like that connection had been forged again and Louis could still all worries and fears within Harry with a look or a smile. They were in this together, for real this time, and they would try their best to communicate better. They were both dedicated to truly making themselves fireproof.

Harry pulled himself out of his inner commentary and looked over at Louis, giving him what was probably a tight smile, but Louis just squeezed Harry’s hand in return and nodded towards Jeff. Right. His manager was still talking and giving him instructions.

Harry turned to refocus on his manager, but Jeff had accepted a phone call. That was fine with Harry. He didn’t need to hear what Jeff was saying anyway. He needed to just bask in Louis’ presence and try to stay centered as they drove towards the center of London.

“You’ll be fine,” Louis murmured in his ear as he gave a soft kiss to Harry’s jawline. “You’ve already done the hardest part, which is actually making the film. Now you just need to go and show them your brilliant smile and be your charming self.”

“I’m kind of scared I’m going to piss myself or trip as I’m walking up for an interview after Cillian or something,” Harry admitted. 

There were so many ways he could make a fool of himself, and he really didn’t want to. It was why he had made sure that Harry had chosen a more understated outfit than what he usually tended towards for promo. Acting was a different side of him and he wanted to show that to the world. That this was a different Harry Styles than Harry Styles the musician. The only problem was Harry didn’t know how to act as Harry Styles the actor, and that was probably what scared him the most.

“Hey.” Louis released Harry’s hand and turned his head so Louis could lean his forehead against Harry’s. “You get to go out there and be whoever you want to be. You’ve been yourself for all of the interviews up to now, believe me. I know. I was there to bear witness to all of your relentless flirting with poor Fionn.”

Harry let out a soft chuckle and felt himself smile. The tension that one action relieved was incredible.

“Ah, there we are. I know a smile was in there somewhere.”

Harry looked in wonder at Louis. “How do you know what to say to make me feel better? Even after spending all that horrible time apart?”

“I know you,” Louis said simply. He smiled as he continued. “I mean the real you that’s underneath everything. I know who you were before all this, and that’s who you are still. You’re just wearing better clothes now.”

“Hey,” Harry said with a chuckle. “You loved my Jack Wills jumpers back then. You were always stealing them.”

Louis rolled his eyes. “Only ‘cause they smelled like you. Not for their look, that’s for sure.”

Harry gasped and gave a light smack on Louis’ shoulder. “Take that back! I have impeccable fashion sense!”

“Boys!” Jeff called out. Apparently his phone call was over. “ We’re almost there. God, is this what I’m going to be dealing with for the rest of my time as your manager? Honestly, what did I sign up for?”

“And to think this is us on our good behavior,” Louis teased.

“Dear Lord, please be with me,” Jeff said with a smirk. “Okay, I’ll be out first-”

“And then Harry and then me, yes. We know, Jeff. You’ve told us at least a million times already, and Elena drilled it into me as well. We’ve got this.”

Harry looked at Louis gratefully. He wasn’t feeling up for pushing back to Jeff today.

Louis smiled and winked at him when what Harry had been dreading finally happened. The car pulled to a stop.

“Alright, guys. Let’s do this,” Jeff said as he got ready to exit the car. The door opened and the screams as well as the sound of professional grade cameras flashing crashed in, causing Harry’s heart to beat faster.

“Ready for our first legitimate walk as a couple in front of the cameras, love?”

Harry smiled. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed it, here is a rebloggable fic post you can use to help spread the word.


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